Risk-Taker

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RISK-TAKER

Beattie was  a daring lass

Though she hadn't got much class.

Her parents begged her to stay calm;

Her antics filled them with alarm!

She'd swim the Channel, camel ride,

Hang from trapezes till they cried

'Beattie! You haven't got nine lives!'

But she met a man who was throwing knives.

She fell in love! He was debonair,

 (Though he hadn't got much hair!)

She found she loved the circus life,

And managed to dodge each sharpened knife!

But alas alack! She grew quite stout;

Parts of her were bulging out!

'Buy some corsets!' her lover shouted.

And his wishes were never flouted.

So she bought some corsets to his taste!

They really did things for her waist.

Yet, either side of the clinching part,

Greater bulges began to start!

To improve her looks she persevered

Growing more and more more weird!

Finally (and this is true)

Poor old Beatie broke in two!

Learn a lesson from this tale;

Trying to please a man will fail.

*

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THE TERRIBLE VALLOON!

(A Poem for Children)

'I come from Outer Space!' cried the Terrible Valloon,

'To visit all the Vegetables on earth.

You're the strangest things I've seen,

In your purple and your green!

As I view you now I'm giggling with mirth.'

'On my planet we're all round' cried the Terrible Valloon,

And you are such a muddle and a mess!

Some are fat and some are thin!

What an awful state you're in!

I've never seen the likes, that I confess!'

'I'm going to put you right!' cried the Terrible Valloon,

'You'll all obey my orders from now on.

None of you can escape!

I shall whip you into shape

Until all your lumpy bumpy bits have gone!'

'On my planet in the sky' cried the Terrible Valloon

'Every vegetable that ever has been found

Is created just like me

And, as you can plainly see,

I look perfect, big and colourful and round!'

'Now line up left to right' cried the Terrible Valloon,

'Which one of you will get a remake first?'

But little Lenny Leek

Normally so mild and meek,

Took a pin and  BANG! The nasty creature burst!

*