Friday, June 17, 2011

Happiness Counter

suggests the topic 'Happiness'

Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys." Fyodor Dostoevsky

(My 3,000th poem!)

Man is fond of counting his troubles,
But he does not count his joys.
He forgets the things that please him
But remembers all that annoys.
When he looks back over his life
He recalls the things he's missed;
The ink is thicker on the debit
Than on the credit list.
In old age this bad habit
Becomes even more pronounced,
As every little ache or pain
Is with a clarion call announced.
You never hear two ancient men saying
 'Gosh! My knee feels good!'
The best he can do is say 'My knee
Is not too bad, touch wood!'
Any part of the body 'in good nick'
Just doesn't get a mention!
(This is something I've noticed
Since going on the pension!)
Should someone brash, on occasion,
Say 'I'm free of aches and pains',
The response will be a litany
Of others' aches and strains.
So, if someone should bore you
With accounts of painful toes,
Quickly butt in and say to him
'But at least you've a healthy nose!'


Recipes are like a dating service. They never end up looking like the picture.


Oh Maxine, Maxine, Maxine!
Where have you been? Where have you been!
Didn't you realise, long ago
That nothing ever is 'just so'?
Take that dress that you once made,
To put your smart friends in the shade!
Remember how the sewing machine
Refused to let you steal the scene!
How it conspired to tug and wrinkle,
Causing many a snag and crinkle!
You did your best with the wretched pattern
And ended up looking like a slattern!
And then recall that night of bliss
When you pursed-up for that first kiss!
Lots of slobbering and taking aim!
I think he was also new to the game!
It wasn't remotely a thing of joy
And you didn't even like the boy!
Few things come up to expectations!
(Let's draw a veil over our relations!)
But, just when we are feeling cynical,
Hard of heart and almost clinical,
Life comes up with a precious glance
No recipe at all, just chance!
A flower blooms for our delectation
And we discover felicitation!
A dating-service? Pass it by.
Just smile at every passer-by!
As for more!
Buy ready-made at the corner store!

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