Saturday, June 4, 2011

Contingency Planning



There's one thing everybody needs
And that's a contingency plan.
That goes for every woman
And every single man.
When you wake up in bed in the morning
Consider the possible traps;
You could miss the bus to work, maybe,
Or fall down the stairs, perhaps.
It pays to lie still in bed awhile
And work out a strategy
For coping with life's pitfalls,
A multiple Plan B.
Better plump up your pillows
In order to feel at ease,
For it's certainly exhausting,
Working-out your Plan Bs.
What to tell your boss today
When he sees that you are late;
And if you go drinking after work,
What to tell your mate.
Supposing there's an explosion
In the middle of the town!
You'd better work out the best way
Of keeping your head down!
You could, of course, avoid it all,
By curling up in bed
Or follow the illustration......
Put a bag over your head!


(An Acrostic)

Calories proliferate!
Obesity becomes ones fate!
Useless to reject advice!
Certainly you'll pay the price!
Heavy folds of paunchy skin!
Pneumatic overlying thin!
Occasional forays to the larder
To make your diet that much harder!
Action-man you're certainly not!
To be blunt, you've gone to pot!
'Out, out damned flesh!' did someone say?
You'll change your ways ......but not today!


Anonymous said...

Two wonderfully amusing poems. I think that your contingency plan should become my motto!

Berowne said...

Bella scrittura! :-)

Mary said...

i love this. Yup, one has to have many continency plans and even contingency plans for contingency plans.

gsb3 said...

I like the humor in this, since all of us (perhaps some more than others) like to be prepared for the unforseen. The funny thing about it, and what makes it so funny, of course, is that we can't! it's sad, but true. You made of good satire of this truism, and a nice form of it, too. Good job.