Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Anatomy of a Crash

supplied the illustration


We are in the car
With Steph and Mark.
Mark is driving.

I can't seem to work this camera. Something's stuck.
Leave it till we get home.
I'm not stopping the car to fix it.
It's sort of jammed.
I want to check that last photo.
It can wait can't it.
Damn! It's raining again.
I thought the baby was the image of Bill.
Didn't you?
Bill who?
Ted's Uncle...
About the eyes I thought.
The little chap's a Wilson.
If I could just get this photo up I could show you.
He's just like Bill Pincham.
Don't knock my arm!
The road's slippery enough as it is!
Sorry! Didn't mean to.
If only you'd stop the car we could check.
I know I'm right.
Bill Pincham to a T.
Oh hell!
Give it here!
Slow down a bit,
And drive with one hand
Then you can show me the button.
Good God woman!
You've been taking photos all the time!
It's the button on the left!
What, this one.........?



The cruise ship engines were silent.
We drifted between dark and dawn.
Then came the sunlight.


Elizabeth Mueller said...

The first one sounds like my husband but he texts while driving. Yipe! :/

Can Alex save Winter from the darkness that hunts her?
YA Paranormal Romance, Darkspell coming fall of 2011!

Evelyn said...

great pace to this...

Beachanny said...

Ah I figured out how to get here. Your poem was great and I'm sorry if others didn't get to read it. Your link was broken. Joy told me she had missed your link and entry. I'm so glad I googled your blog and found it. You put us right in the middle of life and sliced it right open. Very clever and really well done. I don't know why the link doesn't work. If you click on your link at onestop and it doesn't take you o your blog, leave a note to that effect in the comments and one of the admins will fix it for you. Again so sorry! Gay

Bubba said...

Hilarious take on my photo prompt, Brenda!

Lynette Killam said...

I can easily imagine the incessant nattering and the subsequent crash, Brenda...a few flickering lights may be all that survies the scene!

The water picture and poem are wonderful...serene, uncluttered and spot on...loved them...:)

Kathe W. said...

great take on Eric's photo- I have been in that car too!

Margaret Gosden said...

Yikes, I would not like to be in that car! But I like your take on the situation and how you wrote it!

Margaret Pangert said...

Brenda, I love how the tension builds! And to a positive ending in which the eye has become a talisman to renew this man's resolve and strength. Great job!

neil reid said...

Somber indeed. But a good flow, the "conversation" here. Rather like film, the way it moves, images come and go (abruptly, yes). Thanks. neil

irene said...

The dialogue really brought us to the scene of the crash.

Hannah Gosselin said...

Played well...those lines fit amazingly well together to create this scene!

I love "The Sound," both image and words...excellent!

Jules said...

Chilling indeed. Even with hands free taking on the phone in cars - I dislike it when folks try and do to much while driving. Just pull over for goodness sake!
I attempted this prompt with a twist...