Friday, January 27, 2012

The Ruby Heart

chose the cover

Would this blurb entice you to buy this book?

Les Jenkins
(The male author who thinks like a woman!)

Her mother had named her Erotica.
No-one was surprised.
Erotica's Mother,
Whose name was, unfortunately,
Was fascinated by the subject.
Erotica grew up
Her unfortunate name
Made her the butt of jokes.
Erotica loved gardening.
Her vegetables were enjoyed by all.
She had no time for flowers.
One day,
She is drawn, inexplicably,
To a great crimson globe of a blossom.
It grows, on its own,
In the centre of her
Onion bed.
Magic is afoot!
Erotica finds herself shrinking,
Drawn into the great dark centre.
You must read the book to discover what goes on
On 'the other side.'
When she emerges
She has changed completely!
You will marvel 
At her experiences!
Erotica becomes
(Sold in a plain brown paper package. Banned in Little Throgmorton.)

The Onion Growers Weekly; letters to the Editor. How dare you suggest that there is anything more exciting than gardening! I shall withdraw my subscription immediately! Worzle Gummage.



Mary-Lou was badgering her father for a car.
'Please, Dad, please!' she went on. You know how young girls are.
'All the other girls have cars and I'm the odd one out!
Tell me one good reason why I have to do without!'
'What have you got two feet for?' cried Dad; 'For goodness sake.......'
She said 'One for the accelerator; the other one for the brake!'


Kat said...

It was ALICE down-the-rabbit-hole in those days....

Its EROTICA down the great-crimson-globe-of-a-blossom, these days..!!!

Could not control my laughter, at the LOGIC of the daughter. Smart girl..!!!

Kay L. Davies said...

There really are some women who would name their daughters Erotica. I can't imagine why.
But I'm afraid I couldn't read the book, my dear Brenda, but I would buy it as a gift for a friend who enjoys stories about magic and suchlike.
Now, in the next poem, the father should have said, "If all your friends have cars, there's no need for you to have one, too. It's ridiculous consumption for twelve girls to go to the same place in twelve cars."

Oregon Gifts of Comfort and Joy said...

"The male author who thinks like a woman"! You almost had me spitting my coffee all over the keyboard right at the first. Erotica and The Beanstalk, you crack me up, where do you get these marvelous ideas anyway?

I do think that this would be a wonderful book and can't wait to read it. Loved learning about Mary Lou's request too.


Kathy M.

Oregon Gifts of Comfort and Joy said...

Did my post show up?

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

Marvelous! I love the whole darn blurb, from start to finish, and can't wait to find out about Erotica's journey. Your end comments about the brown paper bag and the Onion Growers Weekly cracked me up. Still laughing!