WRITING IN THE BUFF
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THE RUBY HEART
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THE RUBY HEART
by
Les Jenkins
(The male author who thinks like a woman!)
Her mother had named her Erotica.
No-one was surprised.
Erotica's Mother,
Whose name was, unfortunately,
Enid,
Was fascinated by the subject.
*
Erotica grew up
Dumpy,
Beige,
Bespectacled.
Her unfortunate name
Made her the butt of jokes.
*
Erotica loved gardening.
Her vegetables were enjoyed by all.
She had no time for flowers.
*
Until.......
One day,
She is drawn, inexplicably,
To a great crimson globe of a blossom.
It grows, on its own,
In the centre of her
Onion bed.
*
Magic is afoot!
Erotica finds herself shrinking,
Shrinking,
Shrinking,
Drawn into the great dark centre.
*
You must read the book to discover what goes on
On 'the other side.'
*
When she emerges
She has changed completely!
You will marvel
At her experiences!
*
Erotica becomes
Erotic!
*
(Sold in a plain brown paper package. Banned in Little Throgmorton.)
(Sold in a plain brown paper package. Banned in Little Throgmorton.)
The Onion Growers Weekly; letters to the Editor. How dare you suggest that there is anything more exciting than gardening! I shall withdraw my subscription immediately! Worzle Gummage.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------
LOGIC!
Mary-Lou was badgering her father for a car.
'Please, Dad, please!' she went on. You know how young girls are.
'All the other girls have cars and I'm the odd one out!
Tell me one good reason why I have to do without!'
'What have you got two feet for?' cried Dad; 'For goodness sake.......'
She said 'One for the accelerator; the other one for the brake!'
*
