Pet Peeve

IMAGINARY GARDEN

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asks for a Pet Peeve

PET PEEVE

My pet peeve is trivial,

Hardly a peeve at all,

And yet it's a little something

That drives me up the wall.

If ever there's a mutual accident,

Of a truly petty kind,

I always say 'I'm sorry'

It's automatic, I find.

Little side-steps are what I mean,

Maybe a passing nudge.

I always say 'I'm sorry'

But some people bear a grudge.

Although the 'accident's' mutual,

They glower and look ferocious

And I find this behaviour

Off-putting and atrocious.

My smile just freezes on my face

And I wish my words unsaid,

I wish I'd done the glowering bit

And not apologised instead.

You'll probably think 'She's ungainly'

 Or else 'She's accident prone'.

I'm not. Such things are normal;

I know I'm not alone.

But next time my shopping trolley

Nudges up to another trolley

I won't just smile placatingly

And set about being jolly.

I'll glower at my 'opponent'

Yes, I may even scowl;

I'll wither him with a torrid glance

Till he throws in the towel.

Enough of being pleasant!

Enough of being sweet!

You should thank your lucky stars

That we're not likely to meet!

*

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MARTIANS!

So this is what a Martian looks like!

A creature from Outer Space!

It really is peculiar

With that shiny pinkish face!

The poor old thing is bald too,

Apart from a little fluff!

It's claws look very feeble;

 They're just not sharp enough!

We share one little feature, though;

Both of us have eyes.

We're looking at each other

With them widened in surprise.

*

So this is what a Martian looks like!

A creature from Outer Space!

It never gets up off the ground;

 It just slinks about the place.

It's face is very hairy;

It makes a rumbling sound.

It's nose is very pointy,

Not, as it should be, round.

We share one little feature, though;

Both of us have eyes.

We're looking at each other

With them widened in surprise.

*