IMAGINARY GARDEN
My pet peeve is trivial,
Hardly a peeve at all,
And yet it's a little something
That drives me up the wall.
If ever there's a mutual accident,
Of a truly petty kind,
I always say 'I'm sorry'
It's automatic, I find.
Little side-steps are what I mean,
Maybe a passing nudge.
I always say 'I'm sorry'
But some people bear a grudge.
Although the 'accident's' mutual,
They glower and look ferocious
And I find this behaviour
Off-putting and atrocious.
My smile just freezes on my face
And I wish my words unsaid,
I wish I'd done the glowering bit
And not apologised instead.
You'll probably think 'She's ungainly'
Or else 'She's accident prone'.
I'm not. Such things are normal;
I know I'm not alone.
But next time my shopping trolley
Nudges up to another trolley
I won't just smile placatingly
And set about being jolly.
I'll glower at my 'opponent'
Yes, I may even scowl;
I'll wither him with a torrid glance
Till he throws in the towel.
Enough of being pleasant!
Enough of being sweet!
You should thank your lucky stars
That we're not likely to meet!
*
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MARTIANS!
So this is what a Martian looks like!
A creature from Outer Space!
It really is peculiar
With that shiny pinkish face!
The poor old thing is bald too,
Apart from a little fluff!
It's claws look very feeble;
They're just not sharp enough!
We share one little feature, though;
Both of us have eyes.
We're looking at each other
With them widened in surprise.
*
So this is what a Martian looks like!
A creature from Outer Space!
It never gets up off the ground;
It just slinks about the place.
It's face is very hairy;
It makes a rumbling sound.
It's nose is very pointy,
Not, as it should be, round.
We share one little feature, though;
Both of us have eyes.
We're looking at each other
With them widened in surprise.
*
