Elegance

THE WEEKEND IN BLACK AND WHITE

ELEGANCE

A little whiff of bygone days

When elegance ruled the waves

And a cruise was for the upper-crust

Not for the serfs and slaves!

A time of First and Second Class,

And cases made from leather,

When Lady Agnes and Mary Jones

Never ate their food together.

A time when 'P and O' was king,

And Officers wore braid

And husbands strayed behind potted-palms,

While violin trios played.

But no, this is a modern ship,

Folk are kicking over the traces,

Playing screamingly funny games,

Or madly feeding their faces!

I love cruising, that I admit,

But the epitome of bliss,

Is the fact that, amid the hubbub,

One can still find spots like this.

*

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BARKING MAD

(In response to a Mad Kane opening line)

A fellow was in a bad mood;

He had swallowed a fly with his food.

As he coughed and he spluttered

Those nearest him muttered

'Those noises are terribly rude!'

*