THE WEEKEND IN BLACK AND WHITE
ELEGANCE
A little whiff of bygone days
When elegance ruled the waves
And a cruise was for the upper-crust
Not for the serfs and slaves!
A time of First and Second Class,
And cases made from leather,
When Lady Agnes and Mary Jones
Never ate their food together.
A time when 'P and O' was king,
And Officers wore braid
And husbands strayed behind potted-palms,
While violin trios played.
But no, this is a modern ship,
Folk are kicking over the traces,
Playing screamingly funny games,
Or madly feeding their faces!
I love cruising, that I admit,
But the epitome of bliss,
Is the fact that, amid the hubbub,
One can still find spots like this.
*
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BARKING MAD
(In response to a Mad Kane opening line)
A fellow was in a bad mood;
He had swallowed a fly with his food.
As he coughed and he spluttered
Those nearest him muttered
'Those noises are terribly rude!'
*
