Friday, August 26, 2011

Desirable Property

supplied the illustration


I think I've actually sold it...the old barn on the hill!
See! My description did it! I'm closing in for the kill.
'Air-conditioned' I told her; 'Lovely country views';
'Extra land' I mentioned 'For the purchaser to use.'
'Historic' (that's a good word) 'For the connoisseur'
(Even on the telephone I could hear her purr!).
'Quite outstanding area! Smell that sweet fresh air!'
Then I thought I'd better add 'Needs a little care'.
She was new to the market, gullible and green;
'It sounds wonderful!' she said 'I'll buy it sight unseen!'



I don't sleep well on an empty stomach! I know how Maxine feels!
Not that I wake at four a.m. to devour exotic meals!
But I DO like 'a little bit of something' before I go to bed,
Before on my downy pillow I lay my sleepy head!
Bedtime..... water for the pills, a 'wrinkly' routine.
(Every person over sixty knows exactly what I mean.)
Vitamins and blood-thinners, calcium for the bones,
And all the other tablets that every retiree owns!
So I swill them down with water! It's not exactly bliss!
A lady's night-time experience should be more exciting than this!
And it's then I hie me to the fridge to see what's hidden there!
Cold potatoes, half a pie, I really don't much care!
What's in that plastic container? A pork sausage! Bless my soul!
Oh what a wicked luxury! I almost swallow it whole!
By daylight I'm not greedy; I'm a lady to the core!
I'm not a bit like Oliver; I never ask for more.
I can push one pea around my plate for at least almost a minute
And I hesitate over my repast, always, before I begin it!
But comes the dark, comes secrecy, with my husband already snoring,
I gaze at my glass of water, which is suddenly so boring,
And dreams of bedtime feasting invade my addled brain,
And off I go, padding through the house, to raid the fridge again!
So I sympathise with Maxine, though our times are not in sync.
Our exploits at the dead of night are more exciting than you think!


Yamini Meduri said...

nice one dear :)

thanks for joining the tales train..!!!

Monica Manning said...

Historic is a good word, indeed. Witty as always.

I once dated a man who would get up in the middle of the night (every night) and have a snack. A piece of cake, leftover pie, a row of cookies. Thin as a rake, he was. Needless to say, it didn't last. I mean really! What woman can stay with a man who eats like that and doesn't gain an ounce!