Monday, July 5, 2010

Where Am I?


Do you know you? I don't know me!
And I don't see what others see.
And they don't see inside my head;
They just hear the words I've said.
And if they opened up my brain
(An action which might cause me pain!)
They'd find the 'me' has disappeared!
There's no 'me' there. That's rather weird!
In fact, I often think it's true
That I'm not here! Then where are you?
Our lives are ruled and dominated
By something easily dissipated!
Poof! Like that the 'me' can go,
Although it seems to rule the show!
How can the 'me' seem set in stone,
Set in the brain as though on a throne,
When there's simply nothing there!
We're not as substantial as thin air!
The 'me' is just a mess of bits,
Molecules that don't have wits.
It's driving me right up the wall
To think that I'm not here at all!


Gladys Smerch was fifty-four; not the greatest age to be.
And she wondered why she felt less spry than when she was fifty-three.
A visit to the doctor confirmed her greatest fears.
An operation loomed for her. She left the room in tears.
The surgeons did their utmost to put her body right
But she hovered very near to death and looked a ghastly sight.
She spiralled up to Heavens' Gate and waited to go in,
But Saint Peter said 'You're not dead yet! Life is going to win!
You've got another forty years to have the greatest time!
To let you into Heaven now would be tantamount to crime!
Be on your way! Go back to Life and tell them you've arrived!'
And, sure enough, she rallied round. Gladys Smerch survived!
Gladys looked into the mirror as soon as she felt fit.
'Forty more years!' she muttered, 'Old body! This is it!
I'm going to have a face-lift! I look a real old bag!
I'll get rid of all the wrinkles and the nasty bits that sag!
I'll blond my hair and have a really perky little trim,
And I'll book myself for several tiring sessions at the gym.
I'll get my top lip botoxed; I'd like it to protrude,
And I'll get all-over tanning so I look good in the nude!'
So, sure enough, she followed-through with all the great improvements;
She even practised belly-dancing to add sex to her movements.
And, to her great delight she found that she was quite transformed!
She easily passed for thirty and admirers, well, they swarmed!
'Forty more years of this!' she said ' How wonderful I am!'
Then she stepped out from the pavement and went underneath a tram!
She was back again at Heaven's Gate, but it opened right away.
'Come in! Come in!' Saint Peter said 'I hope you enjoy your stay!'
'But... but.... but... but' stuttered Gladys 'What am I up here for?
I've only had one extra year! You promised forty more!'
Saint Peter looked at her closely 'Did some idiot disguise you?
I've let you into Heaven because
I didn't recognise you!'


Jim said...

Interesting post.

Old Egg said...

I loved the "Me" post especially the mask that illustrated your words so well

Old Egg said...

I was in such a hurry to comment on "Me" that I didn't take in your "Out of body" piece which is of course superb and a great fun piece.

Anonymous said...

enjoyed this a lot !!

Marsha said...

I'm very entertained by your writings. And, do any of us know ourselves? I am certainly mystified by parts of my own self! thanks.

Bubba said...

Both very entertaining pieces, Brenda.

(I think if they opened my brain they'd find a sign reading "Back in 5 minutes")

Poets United said...

HA!! I loved the end. What a tease and story. Out of Body was so fun. I alos enjoyed Where am I it hit a nice odd moment to be there and not to be there. Thank you for sharing both poems. You are always so fun to read Brenda.

G.K. Asante said...

Both pieces had a great feel to them. 'Me' is definitely stronger. Thank you for sharing these with us.

flaubert said...

Rinkly I thoroughly enjoyed "me".

Mary said...

When you think about it, "me" is really an odd concept! Who, just who, is "me"?

Sherry Blue Sky said...

I loved "Me" and found the second poem hilarious. Well done!

kaykuala said...

Brenda, Your postings have always been a pleasure to read, what with a bonus, 2 at a time. Also you had given a lot of thought as we can easily follow a sequence from beginning to end and enjoy every minute of it. Thanks for sharing. Brilliant!

Linda Bob Grifins Korbetis Hall said...

smart take.
powerfully said.

Eileen T O'Neill ..... said...

I really enjoyed both poems very much. My preference is 'Me'.
Full of ponderings and weirdness...

Best wishes, Eileen

Peggy said...

Especially enjoyed "Me." LIfe is full of such conundrums and I like to think about them.