Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Ruined by Rubix

Work-of-the-poet requested suggestions! Here's mine!
Read her blog to learn more about her problem!


If you're hit by a Rubix Cube (and many people are)
Rush home quickly as you can and create a lurid scar!
You can do it easily with a little purple paint
And then paint your face all ashen, as though you're just about to faint!
When you look suitably gruesome, visit your local press,
Pointing out the reason why you're looking such a mess!
Next day you'll find you're front-page news, maybe nation-wide!
Then say you can't stand publicity and run away and hide.
By the time you emerge you'll be 'scarred' no more! You'll be beautiful again,
But wince a bit and shudder like someone in mortal pain!
The store will pay compensation; you may not need to sue them!
They'll be overwhelmed with thoughts of the great harm you can do them!
With the money take some time off work! You must write your memoirs now!
Of course, you'll exaggerate a bit; authors do it anyhow.
Make out it was a shower of Cubes, with a pimply teenage thrower!
Throw in some psychology and your book will be a 'goer'!
And when you're rolling in money send some of it this way!
Give three cheers! For Rinkly Rimes has gone and saved the day!


I'm rehearsing this for my 'last words'. I hope I have enough breath!

Dear one and all,
Don't stand and bawl
Because I'm on my way.
Dear treasured friend,
Life has to end;
Night always follows day.
Remember Mum,
In days to come,
As one who did her best.
I'm nackered now!
I'll take a bow.
I deserve a damn good rest


maryt/theteach said...

Brenda, I hope everyone comes by and reads your cleaver poem about the Rubix cube problem... thanks for spreading the story! :)

Claudia said...

love your rubix cube poem - and remember well when EVERYONE had one in school and was trying and trying...and forgot to eat and breathe...

Darlene said...

I don't think I will take the advice given in the first poem. The store owners would just laugh at me, but I will rest as suggested in the second poem. I do that all the time, anyhow. ;-)

Annie Jeffries said...

Clever Miss Rinkly. And no doubt about it, I would have snagged the parent and spoken to him/her. Kids need to learn that there are consequences for their actions. At the very least, they would have learned that their victim wouldn't keep their mouth shut. I'm way too old for this $#*%.