Friday, December 9, 2011

Slim Pickings!

supplied the book cover

Will this blurb encourage you to buy this novel?

Slenderella Lissom

This is the book for anyone who is overweight!
It packs a punch as a love-story yet it's full of slimming tips.
Read it and slim at the same time.
Chapter by chapter.
Kilo by kilo.
Bunty had been a chubby baby.
Bunty had been a full-bodied teenager.
Bunty was now an overly plump young woman.
Beautiful? Yes.
Engaging? Yes.
Sexy? Very.
Bunty meets a mysterious Italian stranger, Alberto.
They fall in love.
Alberto takes Bunty to Italy.
Romance! Romance!
But no!
Alberto lives in a luxury villa
At the top of a long flight of steps!
The steps are between buildings.
The fit is snug!
Their passion remains unconsummated!
Bunty returns home
Determined to navigate the steps
To Alberto's bed.
And to his heart.
Enjoy her adventures as she tests diet after diet,
Often with hilarious consequences.
All of these diets are described in detail
For the reader to follow.
Will Bunty slim down enough 
To find romantic satisfaction?
Will Alberto still be there
At the top of the steps,
Will other lovers prove more satisfactory
(And more available)
Than Roberto?
Read and find out.

The Bountiful Magazine: (From the Editor). Although I found this love-story enthralling, I was upset by your portrayal of plump ladies as unlovable. I strongly advise all 'bountiful' ladies not to read it! 
Wild Poinsettias


Have you heard of Doctor Poinsett and his visit to Mexico?
He was American Ambassador in days long, long ago.
He discovered the plant in the wilderness in 1828
And sent cuttings to South Carolina, which was his home state.
At first it wasn't popular, but then improvements were made
And, finally, it was accepted and there was quite a trade
In pots of Poinsettias at Christmas Time, because of the lovely red.
'It looks like the Star of Bethlehem!' all the Christians said.
There's a legend attached to Poinsettias and it is rather pleasant.
A young girl wanted to bring a gift but she was the poorest peasant.
So she took a bunch of weeds to church as a gift for the Holy Child;
Just a handful of grasses that she had found growing wild!
And, as she entered the church that day, the weeds grew flowers of red;
So her gift was no longer paltry, it was beautiful instead!
Poinsettias now grow in Australia, the climate is just right;
And we love to see them at Christmas Time, so bold, so big, so bright. 


Sandra Davies said...

Snug fit stairs - now there's an incentive, but the diet advice would depress me too much ... especially in Italy.

Bookie said...

Oh Mercy, I love this! I hope she finds a fleshy Italian that loves her bumps! That they go off dancintg "cheek to cheek"!

Grandma's Goulash said...

Alberto should have run back down the stairs and whisked Bunty away to a hotel with a spacious staircase. No story in that, of course! This one promises a lot of light-hearted fun along with its dieting tips.

Oregon Gifts of Comfort and Joy said...

Kilo by kilo cracked up! I think this is really a great idea for a book, and that it would be fun to read. Loved the poinsettia info too.

Happy weekend,

Kathy M.

Kay L. Davies said...

Hilarious idea for a book, Brenda. I'd have to read it.
I really want to participate in BBF today. I was too tired yesterday after my trip to the west coat, but maybe later. I've really missed participating in and commenting on writing memes. Some pre-prepared photo memes were all I could handle while traveling.

Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie’s Guide to Adventurous Travel

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

This would be the funniest chick-lit diet book ever! LOL Since Alberto seems to appreciate her just as she is, I do hope he gets over himself and comes down the stairs...or buys a new luxury villa with an elevator!