Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Just a Phase

grimace, phase, stumble


Pity the poor 'teen', he's haunted by imperfection!
He wants to be an idol, but he doesn't bear inspection.
Just when he should be godlike he enters that awful phase,
When pimples seem to haunt him, ruining all his days!
See him grimace as he shaves that vaguely whiskered chin
Trying to avoid the worst excesses of his skin!
His voice can't make its mind up; should it boom or should it squeak.
If he's planning to be manly, the voice just comes out weak!
His two left feet just let him down; see him stumble on the mat!
Is it any wonder he moves on to kick the cat!
He falls in love ten times a day, with girls who simply sneer;
He's destined to be an outcast! That fact is very clear.
But he is just a caterpillar entering his cocoon!
A handsome heart-throb will emerge one day, very soon.


Some ambitions hang around,
Never to be fulfilled,
And, because of the frustration,
They build and build and build.
It was just like that with Artie,
A taxi-driver chap,
Who longed to have an old-time Nun
Sitting in his lap.
Ever since his teens he'd lain,
Sleepless, in the night,
Imagining the ecstasy,
If one hove into sight.
But years went by and not one Nun
Became his taxi-fare,
And he wondered if one did come by,
Whether he'd really dare.....
Suddenly, one evening,
Seven-thirty, more or less,
A Nun in flowing robes appeared
And gave him an address.
'I'm Sister Grace' the Nun announced.
'Can you drive me to the station?'
And Artie felt a frisson
As he viewed his situation.
For quite a while he drove along,
Not daring to converse,
But the stifled fetish in his mind
Grew worse and worse and worse!
Finally, he blurted out
'Would you commit a sin,
To help this sad petitioner
In the plight that he is in?'
'Tell me your problem, driver;
I'll help you if I can.
I see you're in a dreadful state!'
So Artie then began.....
'If I come round to the back seat,
Would you sit upon my knee,
And…..would you…..would you ….. kiss me?
Would you do that for me?'
The Nun replied 'Why, certainly!
But promise me two things,
That you're an ardent Catholic
And you wear no wedding rings!'
'I'm single, and I'm Catholic!'
Artie blurted out with joy!
Said the Nun, ' Then I'll commit this sin,
For a good old Catholic boy'.
They turned in to an alley,
And the deed was quickly done,
One kiss was all that she allowed,
But it was a lingering one!
Artie returned to his cab once more,
Then sat and bowed his head.
' I've told a wicked, wicked lie!
I'm a Baptist, and I'm wed!'
'Think no more about it!'
The Nun said, 'I'm a man!
And I'm off to a Fancy Dress Party!
And my name is really Stan!'


pia said...

You captured teenage angst just before the metamphorsis perfectly

geraldgee said...

Just a phase.....Some memories best forgotten xx

Thom Gabrukiewicz said...

I remember the age of awkwardness.

Angel said...

Nice work on the one about the boy. Great images. I really liked the one about the nun