Friday, November 2, 2012



It was rather a touching moment; Eloise was standing with Fred,
Renewing the scared vows they made when first the two were wed.
Eloise was a picture in apricot lace and Fred looked so dapper and smart;
Yes, it was a beautiful moment, anybody would take to their heart.
For forty years they’d been married, with only a few little rows
And now was the exquisite moment when they’d be renewing their vows.
Eloise had a bouquet of roses, and, after the ceremony,
The Celebrant, touching the petals, said 'Well, Fred, it's easy to see
What your lovely wife's favourite flower is!' Fred turned to his wife……' Of course,
I know her favourite is wholemeal flour.'
Eloise sued for divorce!’


There are times, dear Maxine, when you hit nails on the head!
When you put things so succinctly that there's no more to be said.
All the while that I'm erect I feel quite young and agile,
But when I get down on my knees it's then I turn so fragile!
When I'm in the shower I feel perfectly secure,
But put me in a bath-tub and I find I'm not so sure.
Bravely I try to scramble out but the knees seem to resist!
I writhe and squirm like a pinkish seal or an old contortionist!
I grab on to the bath-side and give a hefty nudge
But sadly I stay water-bound; I just don't even budge!
It's only after several tries and an effort of great will,
That I can extricate myself! Or else I'd be there still!
(I hope, when you were reading that, you didn't picture me!
Pretend I'm a example of supreme agility!)
Japanese ladies of great age can spring-up from the floor,
Because they've always used their knees in earlier days of yore.
Whereas we Anglo-Saxons let our knees simply decline,
Until they end up useless, like these silly knees of mine!
No more getting down for me! It just wont be too clever!
Unless somebody rescues me I 'll just stay down for ever!

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