Saturday, November 12, 2011

I Mae As well

asks for a new slant on an old tale


I've been a feminist from way, way back,
And 'The Princess and the Pea',
Thoroughly denigrates women,
Or so it seems to me!
Why should the Royal Family
Question my sensitivity?
Why should I have to do a test
Involving a stupid pea?
They'll pile the mattresses on high,
With a little pea at the base,
And, if I fail to notice it,
I'll be out of the race!
Well, I've a little test of my own,
And here you see me prepare.
I'm at my very seductive best.
Do you like my bouffant hair!
I'll put his Lordship to the test
That I've, myself, devised,
And if the idiot fails it,
I won't be at all surprised.
I'll say 'Come up and see me sometime'
(Words that Mae West once said)
'Come and make passionate love to me
On this very special bed.'
No doubt he'll mount the ladder
In a state of erotic glee,
Thinking that I'm to be tested
Regarding the ruddy pea!
The mattresses will wobble
As he turns on the heat
And starts declaring that I'm the love
That's made his life complete!
Maybe I'm a Commoner,
And maybe he's a Toff,
But won't I get my own back
When, finally, he wobbles off!
He'll fall with a crash to the floorboards,
And while he's lying there
I'll perch up high above him,
Combing my bouffant hair.
'Go back to Mother!' I'll tell him,
'Taking your wretched pea!
I'm the very first Suffragette!
I demand Equality!'


Just a faded photograph from many years ago,
Not of close relations, but people I used to know.
I knew them in a way that is, in many ways, quite rare,
And it makes me feel nostalgic, to see them posing there.
I was their 'little evacuee' in nineteen-forty-three.
For several years I lived with them and they looked after me.
They were Mr and Mrs Tucker; no first-names in those days!
And they were very kind to me in many, many ways.
This photograph was on display and it often caught my eye;
I'd study Trevor, the little boy, whenever I passed it by.
When I knew him he was fourteen; gone was his babyhood
But I always liked this photograph; little Trevor looked so 'good'.
Trevor's an old man now, of course, for seventy years have passed!
I'm just a wee bit younger, but I'm catching-up too fast!
Now we correspond by email in a very modern way,
For I am in Australia, and he's in the U.K.
Both of us have descendents, so our genes will carry on
After the inevitable, when both of us have gone.
All this will be ancient history, and will anybody care
That once I lived in Stafford and was kindly treated there?
Thank you Trevor for the photograph and all the memories.
Some of the happiest things in life are echoes such as these.


Fireblossom said...

What's a Toff? I don't think we have Toffs in America.

Kay L. Davies said...

How wonderful, Brenda, to be in touch with Trevor after all these years. I wonder how many evacuees have kept in touch with their temporary families?
Your Princess and the Pea made me laugh!

Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie’s Guide to Adventurous Travel

Maude Lynn said...

Echoes is lovely!

Kerry O'Connor said...

Oh Golly! This had me in stitches..You are a master of lampoon. Thanks for playing along.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Great take on the prompt and I also enjoyed the poem about wartime memories. A wonderful read.

Scarlet said...

Ha..ha... i enjoyed this... hurray for women's equality ~

Dave King said...

And the first suffragette that's made me laugh the whole trip. Wonderful!