Tuesday, November 29, 2011


supplied the prompt


She accused me of being obsessed
With all the boys' toys in my shed.
When I wanted to tinker with this and that
Bernice wanted cuddles instead.
I suppose she expected a change
When I finally gave her a ring,
But I said 'I am what I am!
I'm not going to change, you sweet thing.'
We went on as before, for a while,
And I found it all most satisfying,
But, one night when I came from the shed,
I found Bernice sobbing and crying.
'Our marriage is off!' she exclaimed;
'The future does not look too bright.
I can see I'll be left all alone,
Night after night after night!'
'But the kids will be company then!
Come on,' I said 'Give me a kiss!'
She gave me a look and she said
'I just wont continue like this!'
She stormed out of the house and away;
But I didn't worry too much.
I knew she'd be back in a day or two,
For my smile and affectionate touch.
But days turned to weeks. And I feared
That our wonderful romance was dead!
I couldn't enjoy my old motor-bike,
I couldn't enjoy the shed.
I realised I had been selfish;
I'd reform! I made up my mind!
I would be the most doting of husbands,
Thoughtful, reliable, kind.
I was never one for half-measures,
Half-measures are only for fools,
So I cleared out the shed, every corner,
Yes! Even my old car and tools.
I felt that this needed a gesture.
I'd go back to our own special tree,
And I'd take bits and pieces of metal
To discard, ceremoniously.
I'd take her there, then, and I'd show her
That I was a changed sort of man
And we'd, there, set a date for our wedding;
I'd say 'Let's make it as soon as we can!'
But what did I see by the tree-trunk?
I'm sure you can easily guess......
The pieces of white lace material,
The remnants of 'our' wedding dress!
I knew that she had prepared one,
To wear when she walked down the aisle;
I'd imagined myself waiting for her
With great joy and a heart-warming smile.

Now she's married a boy from her school-days;
I think that his first name was Ted.
As for me, I spend night after night after night after night after night
In my shed.

A Simple Alphabet


There was a young lady from Welling,
Who, it seemed, was addicted to yelling.
Her neighbours, who knew it,
Said 'Why do you do it?'
But she simply yelled 'I'm not telling!'