Thursday, November 10, 2011

Mr Plod


(To the tune of 'Tannenbaum' otherwise known as 'Oh Xmas Tree'.)

I walk the beat
On aching feet
And I am very plucky.
And there are times
 I'm solving crimes,
That is, if I get lucky.
Though burglars work so silently
They still aren't any match for me.
I'll catch them out,
Without a doubt.
I'll find where they are hiding.
My heavy tread
Fills them with dread
They're shaking in their shoes now.
They squirm and quake,
For I'm no fake;
They've everything to lose now.
I am the Master of their fates
And every one anticipates
They'll end in jail.
I never fail
If they're not law-abiding.

From the local paper


Night-time tours of the harbour are planned for the coming season.
Newcastle's Maritime History is, of course, the reason.
Tours will have a ghostly flavour recognising all the wrecks;
Ships which found the ocean washing over their decks.
Over two hundred vessels are buried beneath the sea;
Their stories are great drama though there's nothing we can see.
The tours will be made in  little boats, when the moon is shining bright,
And tales of submerged mariners will be told at dead of night.
Little did those sailors think, when they sailed so long ago,
That their terrible personal tragedies would become a tourist show!

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