Twisted Fortune

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TWISTED FORTUNE
by
Galahad Higginbottom

Introducing his brand new
HISTORICAL HERO!
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Allard
Is the youngest son.
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Chauncy,
The eldest son,
Is taller,
Quicker,
 More handsome.
*
Chauncy is, also,
Evil beyond belief!
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When Allard demands his
Rightful place,
Chauncy taunts him.
'I have hidden your crown
Where it can never be found!'
*
'Find your crown
And then you can wear it!
Buffoon!'
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Follow Allard's adventures
As he seeks his crown!
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Will he find it in
The Pit of Putrid Pythons?
Will it be hidden in
Valley of Vexatious Vipers?
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Learn how Allard finds his crown,
And wears it with pride.
But will he defeat Chauncy
In the Great Battle of Hellfreezeover Hill?
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More twists than you thought possible!
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Look out for volume two:
'Twisted Result'
And all the future 'Twisted' novels.
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In other words
'Get Twisted!'
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Buckingham Palace Newsletter: This novel makes my family life seem uneventful! Signed: The Queen.
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SAINT MAXINE!

Valentine's Day is not, I find,

For one, like you, who speaks her mind.

I'd always try not to 'speak ill'

But then I'd add a codicil!

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'Yes, I suppose you're pretty nice;

I bet you got this ring half-price.'

*

'Yes, I suppose I love you lots,

But not with all those acne spots!'

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'Yes, I suppose I do adore you,

But I loved Henry long before you!'

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'Yes, the flowers were quite divine,

But I'd rather have had some good red wine.'

*

'Yes, I've given you my heart,

But you're not having any other part!'

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'Yes, you are my Valentine,

But sometimes you're a perfect swine.'

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'Yes, I know we're a perfect couple;

At least, we were when you were supple!'

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'Alright! I'll love you till I die!

(But I really can't imagine why!')

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Dear Saint Maxine, on this date

Let you and I just celebrate

By speaking our minds as we always do!

Maxine! Yes! I do love you!

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