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TWISTED FORTUNE
by
Galahad Higginbottom
Introducing his brand new
HISTORICAL HERO!
*
Allard
Is the youngest son.
*
Chauncy,
The eldest son,
Is taller,
Quicker,
More handsome.
*
Chauncy is, also,
Evil beyond belief!
*
When Allard demands his
Rightful place,
Chauncy taunts him.
'I have hidden your crown
Where it can never be found!'
*
'Find your crown
And then you can wear it!
Buffoon!'
*
Follow Allard's adventures
As he seeks his crown!
*
Will he find it in
The Pit of Putrid Pythons?
Will it be hidden in
Valley of Vexatious Vipers?
*
Learn how Allard finds his crown,
And wears it with pride.
But will he defeat Chauncy
In the Great Battle of Hellfreezeover Hill?
*
More twists than you thought possible!
*
Look out for volume two:
'Twisted Result'
And all the future 'Twisted' novels.
*
In other words
'Get Twisted!'
*
Buckingham Palace Newsletter: This novel makes my family life seem uneventful! Signed: The Queen.
*
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SAINT MAXINE!
Valentine's Day is not, I find,
For one, like you, who speaks her mind.
I'd always try not to 'speak ill'
But then I'd add a codicil!
*
'Yes, I suppose you're pretty nice;
I bet you got this ring half-price.'
*
'Yes, I suppose I love you lots,
But not with all those acne spots!'
*
'Yes, I suppose I do adore you,
But I loved Henry long before you!'
*
'Yes, the flowers were quite divine,
But I'd rather have had some good red wine.'
*
'Yes, I've given you my heart,
But you're not having any other part!'
*
'Yes, you are my Valentine,
But sometimes you're a perfect swine.'
*
'Yes, I know we're a perfect couple;
At least, we were when you were supple!'
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'Alright! I'll love you till I die!
(But I really can't imagine why!')
*
Dear Saint Maxine, on this date
Let you and I just celebrate
By speaking our minds as we always do!
Maxine! Yes! I do love you!
*
