Sunday, February 26, 2012


supplied the first line


A fellow who looked like a hick*
Was really quite smart and quite slick.
When they questioned his brain
He said 'Do that again
And I'll give you a whack with a stick!'

* Description from the Urban Dictionary (for non-Americans)

         A derogatory slang term for lower class whites raised in rural areas, usually within trailer parks or hog farms. Generally used more for Midwesterners than Southerners (see: redneck) General defining characteristics of a hick: Protestant upbringing, usually Baptist; racist and sexist opinions; does not attend collage ; dumber than a post.
That hick Dwayne wanted to take me muddin' in the stripper pits last night.  

(I still don't understand the explanatory sentence!)


I wish that I were practical!
I wish that I could wield
A hammer and a chisel
Or plough a rustic field.
I cannot open tin cans,
I cannot paper walls,
I cannot tat or crochet
Or run-up home-made smalls.
I do not dare get busy
With a gimlet or an axe,
And I often need assistance
When I'm working out my tax!
The essence of my problem
Lies in parentage, I fear,
For neither of my parents
Were practical, that's clear.
But I've found there's always someone
To do these things for me,
All I need to bleat is 'Help!'
And, with alacrity,
Practical people swarm around
To show me what is what
Proving they are everything
That I, poor thing, am not.
So my job in life is obvious!
Maybe I can't build shelves,
But I do make other people
Feel darned good about themselves.
When they're comparing themselves with me
They're certain of their worth.
Maybe that's why the cack-handed
Are the true salt of the earth.

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