Thursday, March 31, 2011

Excess Baggage!


Are you slightly overweight? Come on now! Don't be shy!
I suggest an exercise that you might like to try.....
1) Begin by standing easily then stretch out both your arms;
(Picture the lovely slimmer you, with all your many charms!)
Practise standing steadily; try once on the first day;
You'll be doing very well if you manage not to sway.
Increase your term of balancing until you feel quite steady.
You'll know when you're firm as a rock that you're definitely ready,
Ready to move up a notch to exercise number two,
Which is a little harder, dear; I admit that that is true.
2) (Remember that this exercise is scientifically planned!)
Find  five-pound potato sacks and hold one in each hand.
Repeat your balancing until you feel you've had enough.
I'm sure you're feeling healthier, slightly lighter and quite tough!
3) Now replace the five-pound sacks you've used up to this point,
With ten-pound ones, though they may make you ache in every joint.
After several days try larger sacks, the fifteen-pound sort works.
(Of course you feel a trifle tired with all these physical jerks!)
4)Work your way up with larger sacks, till you reach those labelled 'Fifty'.
By now you're slim and lissom and you're feeling pretty nifty!
Everyone you know remarks on your wonderful progression!
And as for you you're glowing at the end of every session.
You'll certainly continue and you know you wont look back!
Next put a small potato in the bottom of each sack!


We give it such a cosy little name,
As though sweetening it
Will make it less terrifying.
Then we give that very name
To a chocolate bar,
So that, by eating it, we can prevail!
The Milky Way.....
How about
Snow Path
Sprinkle Street?
Anything to cut it down
To our own dimension.
The reality of it
Is too overwhelming.
It makes us feel small,
When, of course, we're not!
Face it!
We are a dot
On a dot
Dependent on a dot
Among dots and dots and dots......
A star is a sun,
Not an earth-like planet.
We cannot see
What equates to us up there
Because it is too small,
Too unimportant.
Our sun is a nothing, too.
So small,
So insignificant.
Our sun!
That controls our lives!
Multiply our sun by
Two hundred billion
To gauge its importance!
And there are billions of galaxies!
But why bother looking at them!
They are probably no longer there!
Gobbled up by black holes
Eternities ago!
Then there's the little matter of the Universe....,
And all the other Universes
Outside the Universe!
And the neverendingness of it all!
To hell with it!
Let's have a Milky Way!



Cad said...

Sounds a good solution to me!

jabblog said...

I've heard the advice in your first verse, but never in quite this way:-)
As for space - well, there's just so much of it . . .