Assignation

                   Bloch

THE MAG

chose the illustration

ASSIGNATION

When Egbert had whispered, tenderly,

'Let us meet by the light of the moon',

I'd felt all peculiar

And I'd thought I was going to swoon.

'Come as you are' he'd whispered;

'Come in your negligee!

We'll dance together on the lawn!

The moon is as bright as day.'

I pictured us in a mad embrace,

When we were on our own.

I thought his magical message

Was meant for me alone.

I put on my favourite nightie,

Squirted perfume here and there

Brushed my teeth till they twinkled

And put a red rose in my hair.

But when I reached the garden,

Imagine my surprise.....

There were all the other guests,

Right before my eyes!

They were all in their nighties

Standing about looking spare

And I saw that Rita Renshaw 

Had a red rose in her hair!

I suddenly heard a cackle

Coming from behind a tree!

It was that awful Egbert

Laughing hysterically.

We all of us looked embarrassed

And drifted back to bed.

*

Oh, by the way, next morning,

Egbert  was discovered........dead!

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                                  Local Press Photograph

LOOK OUT!

(A Springtime Scourge)

Out of a blue non-threatening sky a Springtime bird descends.

And he isn't coming your way because he thinks you're friends!

A chicky little garden bird that hops among the flowers?

No! A magpie is a creature with very martial powers!

In Springtime he's the scourge of all who come within his reach

Descending like an eagle with a very scary screech.

First, he's after human hair to line his little nest.

Later on it's parenthood that puts us to the test. 

He or she guards precious eggs with hovering ill-will;

Suspecting every passer-by and swooping to the kill.

The beak is long and razor-sharp  delivering injuries

That sometimes need a stitch or two! That's just the way it is.

Bike-riders wearing helmets are protected from the swoop

But walkers have to cower when a magpie loops the loop.

Some wear empty ice-cream cartons upside-down in case

A magpie should decide to dive and disfigure a face.

Australia's full of nasties......take snakes, and then take sharks.

But as an angry predator the magpie gets top marks.

*