Wednesday, April 4, 2012

The Crushing


supplied the 'cover'

Would this blurb encourage you to buy this book? 

Elouisa Elphinstone
(The eighth in her horrifying 'End of Everything' series.)
Mrs Elphinstone does it again!
She manages to make us laugh about
This time she chooses
The Extreme Cold
Alf and Mandy Spindle
Happen to be on holiday
In Majorca
When the news  arrives;
'The Earth is definitely freezing over'.
All people on earth accept that
The End Is Nigh.
Alf and Mandy learn that
Their beloved home village,
Is already under a layer of thick ice!
They must look to the South.
Enjoy their hilarious exploits as they,
And a billion other human-beings,
Try to escape the advancing sheet of ice!
Copy their Survival Hints.
They may come in handy one day!
Finally, they discover a cave
In the steamy jungle.
They will start a new civilisation!
But, just as they are about to organise
The preliminaries
A gigantic cube of ice
Rolls in and
They realise that
All is lost.
Will the branch
Save their lives?
Tension at its most Tense!
The Global Heating Advocate; After reading this remarkable book I have torn up all my scientific papers and I now believe we're heading for an Ice Age. This magazine will close down forthwith.
 The Editor.


(From a Mad Kane suggestion)

A girl who took pride in her style,
Thought she'd wear nothing else but a smile.
She was so double-breasted,
She soon was arrested,
But she's bought a new bra for her trial!

1 comment:

Maude Lynn said...

I love the limerick!