Thursday, September 23, 2010

Acqua di Parma

supplied the illustration


Acqua di Parma! Surely that's ham!
(Which shows how ignorant I am!)
Who would want to smell of bacon!
(Surely you'd find yourself forsaken!)
Parma Ham! Not too alluring!
Even if the ham's been curing!
Imagine the man of your dreams, my dear,
Looking keen and hovering near!
Imagine him sniffing behind your ears
And suddenly bursting into tears!
'I hoped for carnation or, maybe, rose!
But now you see I'm holding my nose!
What next, I ask, have you in mind?
What other perfume will you find?
Rotten eggs? Or creosote?
Scent from the droppings of a goat?
I'm not prepared to take the chance!
This is the end of our great romance!'
But then I Googled and I found out
What Acqua di Parma is all about!
It's a perfume that's unisexed!
(Goodness! What will they think of next?)
Ladies wear it, so do men!
Good for the cockerel, good for the hen!
They say it's fresh, a sort of Cologne,
Something I really should have known!
So you're safe to dab it behind your ears
When George Clooney arrives! Three cheers!
Though, of course, he might get vexed
When he finds out you are unisexed!

The track of a yak is natural,
The trail of a snail is neat,
The marks are found
On the unspoilt ground
Where they've slithered or pressed their feet.

The trail of a snail is washed-out
By the gently falling rain.
The track of a yak
Will not come back
Till he walks that way again.

But the trails of the human-beings
Are the ugliest trails I've seen
We leave our marks
On the fields and parks
And you can't miss where we've been.

There are cartons and tins and papers;
There is rubbish of every kind;
There is broken glass
On the shining grass
As we leave our track behind.

And no gentle rain can wash it,
And no time can make it fade.
They will still be found
On the ruined ground,
Those marks that mankind has made.

Yet once our world was pristine.
We want that old world back.
Make up your mind
Leave nothing behind,
And learn from the snail and yak.


Gemma Wiseman said...

I too confess to Googling Acqua di Parma! Love your take on the unknown and the "aha" moment! But the snail and the yak ditty is priceless! A modern Aesop's fable!

Kathe W. said...

oh my gosh...Tracks of the Yak...I absolutely positively LOVE IT!

cosmos cami said...

So STINKIN' fun.
Loved the rhyme and the playful flavor of this one!

Amanda Moore said...

Oh Hysterics! I didn't even Google for I'm far too lazy but this was the most fun in reading a poem I have had all day!! So so clever!

Priyanka Bhowmick said...

lol that stinks , yet a fun poem :)

christine said...

OOOO.... George Cloony, my heart throb! Wonderful poem I had to laugh, such a fun writing. I love it.

jabblog said...

I thoroughly enjoyed both of these. I had to look up Acqua di Parma, too, but Parma for me suggested something different.

Helen said...

Oh, the power of Google! Your Magpie is funny and so well written!

Susannah said...

Nice magpie and the snail and the yak is just brilliant! :-)

Berowne said...

Clever, funny...

Unknown said...

I had to google too...
Willow is sure educating us :)

and with all of this talk of Parma ham, I'm hungry...


Tumblewords: said...

I, too, did the Google. :) Yaks' Tracks should be reposted daily 'til we Get it.

Kristen Haskell said...

Nice job and I too googled!

Martin said...

"..What other perfume will you find?
Rotten eggs? Or creosote?
Scent from the droppings of a goat?
I'm not prepared to take the chance!
This is the end of our great romance!"

Still chuckling.

Linda Bob Grifins Korbetis Hall said...

hello, friend:

I invite you to Attend Thursday Poets Rally Week 29, linking in a poem by commenting,

Happy Thursday!

the Rally runs through next Wednesday, link in by Sunday is okay.

Lydia said...

I love your poems and this one delighted me most of all!
good for the cockerel, good for the hen ...I am just laughing and laughing.:)

Jinksy said...

Trust you to find the funny side!

(I still love your Yak poem, too!)

Brian Miller said...

haha. love it...thanks for the humorous side of this...the smell of ham might be alluring to some...but to break out crying...not the right effect...smiles. nice magpie!

Reflections said...

Great humor found in both of these. Eloquent rhyming.

Absolutely wonderful ending for me - of a such a stressful day. Love the lighter side of things.

Sue J said...

I must confess that when Brut aftershave came out I used it as perfume :) Loved them both. The Yak one reminded me of Now We Are Six by A A Milne - the poems I was raised on.

One Prayer Girl said...

I had to Google too. I was relieved to discover it was unisexed since I wanted it to be a scent on a man.

I loved your original and clever.

Mine is up.


Tess Kincaid said...

Parma ham and goat droppings! ((Giggles))

~T~ said...

My boys respond pretty quickly to the smell of bacon--but they're not too keen on romance yet. Fun poem!