Friday, June 11, 2010

The Luck of the Draw.



Have you got the winning ticket? Me? I never seem to win!
Everybody at the ready? Hold your breath now! Let's begin!
Yellow ticket, number thirty! Blast! That's gone to Daisy May!
See her smirking! Hear her saying 'Yes, this is my lucky day!'
Purple ticket, fifty seven! That's not fair! I'm fifty eight!
That ghastly woman in the track-suit grins and starts to celebrate!
Surely this one will be my one! Orange ticket, twenty-two!
I've got twenty-two I tell you! Oh! I see! My ticket's blue!
Lucky last! That's sure to be me! I just know I'll get the prize!
I deserve it, that's quite certain, 'cos I've had so many tries!
Yellow ticket, number thirty! Yes! That's me! I give a shout!
'Over here!' Wow! I'm a winner! There just isn't any doubt!
Now!....... Where did I put that ticket? I had it here, I did, for sure!
Am I sitting on my ticket? Have I dropped it on the floor?
I know I had it! Yes, I saw it! It was mine! I wouldn't lie!
I've got it somewhere! Wait a minute! Everything has gone awry!
You can't wait? Don't be so nasty! Give me just a minute more!
It must be underneath the table! Yes! I know what rules are for!
Go ahead! Make  me invalid! Make me look a perfect fool!
No good telling me you're sorry! Don't keep on about the rule!
Let me say, sincerely darling, I'm quite happy, yes, I am!
As Clark Gable used to say
 I just don't give a damn!


It seems to me, in Australia, Spring Cleaning comes quite late.
Or maybe it's just a misnomer unaffected by the date.
Spring starts in September, but January's the time,
To turn out all the cupboards and wash away the grime.
This is because, in January, everything slows to a halt;
It's the summer holiday, of course, and hot weather is at fault.
I can switch on the air-conditioning, and stay cooped up inside,
Rather than go out in the sun and be positively fried!
I completed my cleaning a month ago; I'm feeling neat again
But, unlike my friend Maxine, I didn't find my brain!
I know it's in there somewhere, but, sad to say, I fear
I'll have to do without it till Spring Cleaning time next year!
Oh dear! Of course I got it wrong! It's not Spring Cleaning time!
It's Winter and I'm shivering as I'm publishing this rhyme!
But it fits the bill in one way, and really very neatly!
You see! It only goes to prove I've lost my mind completely!

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