MONOCHROME WEEKLY THEME
presented us with this archaic gentleman!
A BAD INFLUENCE!
Dionysius! What a lad!
Drinking became quite a fad
When he showed how he could quaff
And see another bottle off!
If he hadn't existed we'd all be
Dour and dull and quite TT!*
Parties wouldn't rate at all!
No-one could say 'We had a ball!'
We'd never sing those rugby songs,
Or go round whipping off our thongs.**
We'd never get in a rowdy fight
Or end up having a hard day's night!
We'd never sit with aching heads
Longing to be tucked in our beds.
We'd never wake up in the morning,
Wishing there had been a warning
On the bottle saying 'Desist!
Drink this and you will end up .......'***
Since I am almost a non-drinker
(More of an intellectual thinker!)
I feel I can offer this advice
Because I never pay the price!
One glass of wine and I feel drab
And go home early in a taxi-cab!
A 'party pooper' through and through
I merely watch what drink can do.
Dionysius, you and I
Would never have rolled around the sky
In godlike manner steeped in wine!
And without your help I'm doing fine!
* Teetotal (the word may be used only in the UK).
** Definitely referring to the footwear!
*** Maybe this only rhymes in the Australian vernacular!
It happens to the best of us here: