Saturday, January 9, 2010

Gnot Gneeded!

A Gnu


Words like 'gnaw' and 'gnat' and 'gnu',
(And, thankfully, such words are few),
Really make me hit the roof,
Since they give us certain proof
That our language is quite crazy!
After all, that 'g' is lazy!
It just sits there like a blob
While other letters do their job!
What if I added 'g' to 'nod'?
'Gnod' is a word that's simply odd!
What if I added 'g' to 'never'?
'Gnever' doesn't look too clever!
Would a 'gnose' be even wearable?
Wouldn't 'gnonsense' be unbearable? 
Could you bear to write your 'gname'?
Would 'gneighbours' make you blush with shame?
Gno, gno, gno! It's 'out damned spot!'
Accept your gnonsense I will gnot!


When Sadie stayed with Granny
Granny always did her best
To further her education
So she set a little test.
Sadie was only four years old
So very young and small
So Granny tested her colours
To see if she knew them all.
'What colour is grass?' she questioned
And 'Green' came the answer back.
'And what's the colour of Sootie cat?'
The child responded 'Black.'
'Tell me the colour of lipstick'
The kindly Granny said,
And quick as a flash the answer came...
'The colour of lipstick's red!'
When asked the colour of the sky
The child piped up with 'Blue!'
And Granny was delighted
With the colours that she knew.
When Granny was saying her farewells
She said 'Please come again!'
And Sadie surprised her by saying
'You might know your colours by then!'