Saturday, September 5, 2009

The Key to the Situation



Robbie was drunk! Quite impossibly so. And he stood with his key in his hand.
Then he looked for the key-hole and found it was there! He'd found his way home as he'd planned.
But the key wouldn't fit or the hole was too small! He was mumbling and fumbling away
When Constable Smith who was out on patrol just happened to come round that way.
Robbie looked quite suspicious, of that there's no doubt, with his brain full of holes like a sieve,
And Constable Smith spoke quite firmly to him..... 'Are you certain it's here that you live?'
'Of course I live here! Have a go with my key and you'll see for yourself that it fits!'
Said Robbie, who though he was feeling quite rough, was still in control of his wits.
Sure enough when the Constable tried-out the key it fitted the door to perfection.
So 'Come in!' said Robbie, quite pleased with himself, 'I'm sure that you'd like an inspection!
See, this is my table, and this is my chair; my kitchen is just through that door!
That photo up there is my old Auntie Flo. And, upstairs, I can show you much more!'
When they got to the bedroom the policeman exclaimed 'Well, Robbie, now who might that be
In bed with your wife?' Robbie thought for a bit
And said 'Well I never! It's ME!'
A love-sick policeman here:


Quilly said...


Way back in my murky past I used to manage apartments. One early, early, early morn -- in truth a late night -- there came a knock upon my door, which I answered because I was paid to. Upon my door step stood a drunk, key in hand, who said, "I'm locked out. I can't get my key in the door." And to that I said, "I'm sorry, I don't do personal problems." Then I shut the door and retreated to my bed. When I woke in the morning the drunk was still there, sleeping happily on my back porch.

niyo said...

nice! it's been terriblylong since i've read a rhyming piece.

anthonynorth said...

Loved the ending to that one :-)

Unknown said...

'Well, Robbie, now who might that be
In bed with your wife?' Robbie thought for a bit
And said 'Well I never! It's ME!'

Best said...

Valerie said...

This is a cracker, Brenda. May I, could I, possibly read it at WI?

linda may said...

Love it Brenda. My Dad used to come home like that and knock on the door and say to Mum "Are you my wife?", and if she said yes he would reply "Well I must be at the right house" and stagger through the door, making us all laugh.Breaking the ice so to speak.

gautami tripathy said...

Liked the tempo!

I hold myself in the doorway

Kill Word Verification

Americanising Desi said...

i m a rhyme fanatic and you managed to put a smile on my face.
thank you!

nicely done

The Key Fits My Story

Alan Burnett said...

What a smashing rhyme. Thoroughly enjoyed it.

George S Batty said...

this is funny. well written and I loved it.

Mara said...

Loved the turn at the end!

Madison said...

That was incredibly entertaining! Great work! Very easy to read as well. It had a certain vibe to it that wouldn't let you stop reading.

keiths ramblings said...

Loved it - the story, the twist and the style you wrote it in. Great stuff.

Dee Martin said...

Gave me a chuckle. There is a family story about Grandpa coming home from the pub, would throw his hat in the door. If it stayed, he knew it was safe to come in. If the hat came flying back out - well..

I don't know the details but I know that he owned a LOT of hats :)

Kat said...

Grinning to the hilarious reception of the deception, by everyone..!!