WRITING IN THE BUFF
supplies the cover of this imaginary book.
Would this blurb encourage you to read it?
(Of the famous Trollop family)
Not your usual haunting!
Karl is a womaniser.
And proud of it.
The notches on his bed-post are many.
But he goes too far.
Alicia is purity personified.
She holds-out for marriage.
Early in this fascinating saga
A marriage is planned.
The bride's dress is white.
Karl ditches her at the altar.
Alicia kills herself.
Now the real drama begins.
Karl finds himself haunted by WHITE.
The colour follows him everywhere.
Read of his experiences in
Most of all, in bed.
Every time he is haunted by white
He becomes weaker,
And nearer to death!
How will he be redeemed?
And who will redeem him?
You should be.
The Magimix Paint Company:A letter to the C.E.O; 'I feel very unwell and I put it all down to your white emulsion, which goes by the name of 'Ghostly Pallor'. You will be hearing from my solicitor. Signed: Karl Spiffington-Lewis
"GOOD ON 'YER"
The well-known Australian reaction
Is called-for at this time.
Followed, as you'd expect from me,
By a little touch of rhyme.
Prince Philip has been outspoken,
Gruff and 'difficult' all his life,
Following a few steps behind
His charming royal wife.
He's been noted for saying the wrong thing,
And not obeying the rules,
Determined to be different
And never 'suffering fools.'
He may have had all the comforts;
Always pampered, never cold,
But he never was his own man,
And now it's too late; he's old.
The papers found it surprising
When he recently smiled and waved
On his way home from the hospital
Where his life had just been saved.
But I don't find it amazing
That he gloried in centre-stage;
At last crowds were cheering for him alone;
It had taken him till old age
To have his turn in the spotlight;
To be 'the one' for the day.
And he had to make the most of it,
Before it got away.
'Good on yer' Prince Philip,
The 'Greek God' of my youth.
Back then I was in love with you,
And that, old thing, is the truth.
You were wonderfully handsome,
Tall and blond and tanned.
No wonder the Princess adored you;
That was easy to understand.
Forget the man of ninety
Partly bald and marked by age!
It's the gorgeous hunk you see below
Who, for me, takes centre-stage.