Australian Weather Woes

AUSTRALIAN WEATHER WOES!

Please, Mr Weatherman, send some summer!

So far this one's been a bummer.

Rain and hail and wind and storm!

Our summers are famed for being warm!

'Global Warming' can't be true

If this is what Climate Change can do!

In an 'English Summer' we expect

Clouds and drizzle to be correct.

But, believe me, even your average Pom

Would baulk at where we're coming from!

The beach is closed; the goose-bumps reign,
All in all it's an awful stain
On our pristine reputation.
We're a climatically-favoured nation!
People will leave this land in droves.
And return to Italy's olive-groves.
Unless there's a distinct improvement!
Even the Poms may make a movement!

Please, Mr Weatherman, send some summer!

So far this one's been a bummer.
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The Latest Forecast!
Residents in rain-drenched eastern Australia better get used to the wet summer - there's no sign of it easing before March.
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LAST CHANCE TO WHAT?

There may be people out there who understand this ad!

Maybe it's something up-to-date, the very latest fad!

Maybe I should 'podium' if it's quite the latest thing!

Maybe it is vital to those who're in the swing.

I've never thought of 'podiuming'. I'm filled with nervous doubt!

This gold and silver message makes me feel that I've missed-out!

I look at people in the street and try to make a guess....

Are they cheerful 'podiumers' all filled with happiness?

What happens if one 'podiums'? Does one get up and speak,

Standing at a rostrum and feeling very chic?

The word seems to imply it, but it doesn't make much sense.

But then, I'm quite 'un-podiumed' so I may be rather dense!

It says 'Last Chance'! Have I missed it? Am I doomed to be inept

Because the whole thing passed me by as I, ignorantly, slept?

Oh woe is me! I'm 'podiumless'! I should feel so contrite!

And yet, you know, it's a funny thing..... I feel perfectly all right!

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