Honest!

BIFOCAL UNIVISION
http://bifocalunivision.blogspot.com
supplied the illustration


HONEST!

I'm sceptical by nature and I'd never tell a lie,

In fact, my faults are very, very few.

So you'll know I'm being honest when I look you in the eye,

And you'll understand that all I say is true.

*

I was driving on the M5; it was raining, I recall;

And I had to do my best to concentrate,

For the line of heavy traffic had slowed-down to just a crawl

And I was a little cross at being late.

When, suddenly, this light appeared, quite low-down in the sky;

It was brilliant and enormous and so bright!

A shudder passed right through me and I couldn't work-out why

I felt a surge of overwhelming fright.

Then the great white beam engulfed me! My car was in a cloud!

I heard a whine, a really ghastly sound!

My car was lifted in the air in a sort of misty shroud!

I was hovering ten miles above the ground.

Then, suddenly, a tiny man with funny pointed ears

Poked his face in through the window and then spoke;

'You're the perfect human specimen we've been hunting for for years'.

And I blurted out 'Is this some sort of joke!'

Then he became quite nasty and I found myself dragged out

And whisked off to a Space Laboratory!

As I lay there on the Operating Table I looked up

And a dozen little men looked down at me!

They had scalpels, they had knives, they wore coats of spooky green,

And every single 'surgeon' had a list.

'You take stomach; I'll take liver; Gronch, it's your turn with a spleen.

And, don't forget, the left lung can't be missed!'

Now the funny thing about it was I didn't feel a thing;

I sort of drifted off into a dream.

And I didn't seem to bleed or bruise and nothing seemed to sting;

I didn't let-out one small groan or scream!

Then, suddenly, I was in my car and back on the M5!

I didn't even have one single scar!

I was quite untouched and healthy and so glad to be alive!

I was just another driver in a car.

*

I'm sceptical by nature and I'd never tell a lie,

In fact, my faults are very, very few.

So you'll know I'm being honest when I look you in the eye,

And you'll understand that all I say is true.

*

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WHO CARES!

Who cares if I'm one year older!
Who cares if the wrinkles spread!
Who cares if the date
Says 'Getting late'!
I'm alive! And I could be dead!
*
So to all of you other wrinklies
Hanging on as the clock winds down
A Happy New Year
Don't shed a tear!
Go out and paint the town!
*