THE BAREST MINIMUM
Someone wrote it; someone sent it;
Poorly printed, without colour.
Compared with present-day garishness
Nothing ever could look duller.
Just the slightest hint of crimson;
Names of battles scrawled in haste.
Hardly worth a second viewing
Compared with present-day's vivid taste.
Not a single cherub on it;
Not a single leaf of holly;
Not a single exhoration
To be carefree, to be jolly.
Not a hint of Santa's sleigh-ride;
Not a hint of gifts galore;
Not a mention of the pudding,
The crackers, turkey and much more.
The barest minimum of wishes
On a card that's old and faded.
So why am I feeling disillusioned,
All washed-up and old and jaded?
Is it because this seems to be
A card full of
CAMEL CORPS CHRISTMAS
Something you've never had before!
A Christmas card from the First World War!
A Christmas card from the Camel Corps!
This was a rabble of a brigade
Of Australian soldiers who made the grade
By being the toughest ever made!
Chosen because they were rough and wild,
Easily roused and easily riled
(All the others were meek and mild)!
The British were always on their guard
When the C.C. approached their barrack-yard,
Because controlling them was hard!
Once they went in for a kill,
But found their hand-grenades were nil
So they just rolled boulders down the hill!
It happened so very long ago,
But I thought I'd cut-out bells and snow
And send you a Camel Corps 'Hello!'