Friday, December 23, 2011

The Barest Minimum


THE BAREST MINIMUM

Someone wrote it; someone sent it;
Poorly printed, without colour.
Compared with present-day garishness
Nothing ever could look duller.
Just the slightest hint of crimson;
Names of battles scrawled in haste.
Hardly worth a second viewing
Compared with present-day's vivid taste.
Not a single cherub on it;
Not a single leaf of holly;
Not a single exhoration
To be carefree, to be jolly.
Not a hint of Santa's sleigh-ride;
Not a hint of gifts galore;
Not a mention of the pudding,
The crackers, turkey and much more.
The barest minimum of wishes
On a card that's old and faded.
So why am I feeling disillusioned,
All washed-up and old and jaded?
Is it because this seems to be
A card full of
Sincerity?

*

--------------------------------------------------

CAMEL CORPS CHRISTMAS

Something you've never had before!
A Christmas card from the First World War!
A Christmas card from the Camel Corps!
Happy Christmas!
*
This was a rabble of a brigade
Of Australian soldiers who made the grade
By being the toughest ever made!
Happy Christmas.
*
Chosen because they were rough and wild,
Easily roused and easily riled
(All the others were meek and mild)!
Happy Christmas!
*
The British were always on their guard
When the C.C. approached their barrack-yard,
Because controlling them was hard!
Happy Christmas!
*
Once they went in for a kill,
But found their hand-grenades were nil
So they just rolled boulders down the hill!
Happy Christmas!
*
It happened so very long ago,
But I thought I'd cut-out bells and snow
And send you a Camel Corps 'Hello!'
Happy Christmas!
*

No comments: