A Melodrama's a stage play performed with intensity!
Lots of over-acting and insensitivity!
The bad is always intensely bad, the good intensely good!
Real life is so much more sedate..... usually......touch wood!
I've a 'melodramatic' hobby! I write them just for fun.
I find it very satisfying staging them when they're done.
The characters are black and white, cardboard cut-outs, it's true,
With very little resemblance to me or even you!
The Villain is always ghastly, without an ounce of charm,
About to steal the lovely damsel's only possession, the farm.
The damsel is always a virgin, impossibly demure,
And, of course, she has an admirer, whose approach is always pure.
There's always an older woman, who's jealous as can be,
And someone unknown who's listening, lurking behind a tree.
A policeman has to feature; he's often rather dim,
But often the lovely virgin falls madly in love with him.
It's good to have a yokel, who just wanders on the stage
And drives the nasty villain into a wild and venemous rage.
Every play is different, but, unless you want a flop,
The parts are always acted completely 'over the top'.
I add an audience singalong, which always goes down well,
And the people in the audience are requested to give a yell,
Shouting out a 'You tell him, love!' or maybe 'Hiss' or 'Boo!',
Or maybe 'Oh dear!' when someone dies, as they quite often do!
It's 'good clean fun' , (well, almost clean) for those of us who act,
And audiences laugh a lot and clap too, that's a fact.
I suppose it's all old-fashioned, and really a dying art,
But, should you come to Australia, I'll see you get a part!