Thursday, February 5, 2009



Oh how I hate the apple which is smooth and round and bright,
And not in the least affected by the dreadful cellulite!
I have a seething hatred for the beastly little grape,
Which also is unblemished and a neat and rounded shape.
Why should a cherry glisten and reflect the morning sun?
Why is it that the orange is the only pock-marked one?
I agree, the poor old lemon and the grapefruit also suffer,
But my skin's more indented and the texture seems much rougher.
They are distant cousins. I avoid them when I can.
A lemon's such a sour thing and quite an also-ran.
But the pear sits in the fruit-bowl in yellow pride indulging!
And it's such a fascinating shape! Part thin and then part bulging!
A pineapple, I must agree, has troubles of its own,
But at least it can defend itself; that's why its spikes are grown.
Then, look at the banana! Now there's a skin to sigh for!
Skin that's smooth and rubbery and a yellow that I'd die for.

For it isn't just the cellulite that makes my skin look duller;
It's the aggravating, nauseating, awful

Yes, orange is the colour of a sunset on the sea,
And orange is the colour of the honey from the bee,
And a bracelet made from amber is a gorgeous orange hue,
And a harvest-moon can be a really lovely orange too.
And then orange is a colour that's favoured by the Dutch.
But I've got my opinion and I just don't like it much.

Now I step into this treatment in the hope that I'll emerge
Quite free from all my cellulite; that most unpleasant scourge!
Then off into the bleach I'll go, until my skin is white
And round and white and smooth I'll be, a vision of delight.
Those human-beings change themselves with ointments and the knife!
I know I'm on the verge now of a quite spectacular life!

I'll find the nearest apple and I'll kick it in the shin!
And, for the first time in my life, I'll be 'happy in my skin'.


Jinksy said...

You give a whole new meaning to '5 fruits a day' - the latest 'eat healthy' campaign in UK...

Darlene said...

A very cute rhyme. I think your subject for orange as an orange most appropriate.

Patsy said...

Well now that is just great about the orange. I enjoyed your rhyme very much,and the cute picture.

Tash said...

great ending lines & hilarious photo find

photowannabe said...

Oh so clever rhyme about orange. Wish I could claim that wild picture. its terrific.

Daddy's Boo Portraits said...

That photo is so neat, I had to take a double look at it.

pictureeachday said...

In very belated response, I sincerely hope that you will write a poem about my Colorful Cow one day--I would love to read it! I just read so many of your poems and enjoyed them all. I think this one is my favorite (and especially paired with such a fantastic photo!), though really it's hard to choose..

Kat said...

Sigh...... how you hate the apple. If not for it, Sir Isaac Newton wouldn't have discovered about gravity... and even after his discovery, people in Australia are still walking upside down :)))

Catherine said...

Great rhyme - though I have to admit I like a bit of texture, and think that oranges are quite beautiful :)

Peg Cherre said...

The photo and poem both made me chuckle. Thanks!

carmilevy said...

I needed a good laugh today, and I'm immensely thankful to you for providing it.

I think this is going to make me smile for hours tonight :) Whoever composed this, my hat's off.