Saturday, February 28, 2009

318. The Lost Key!

The SUNDAY SCRIBBLINGS prompt reminded me of an old monologue I used to perform.
The prompt is 'LOST'.


(Maybe a little rude but I always assumed a very innocent air and it worked!)

In twelve-oh-nine,
We were doing fine
In our castle on the hill,
And, if the Infidel hadn't raised some hell,
We'd all be happy still.
But my Noble Lord was getting bored
So he went to the Crusades;
Put my chastity under lock and key,
And that of the serving maids.
Hey nonny nonny
That's how sexist all men are.

It was twelve-sixteen
And I hadnt seen
My Lord for several years.
I'd learned to tat,
And I'd grown quite fat,
And I'd shed some wifely tears.
Oh, a minstrel's tune
Passed an afternoon
And the weather could be discussed,
But I have to admit
I couldn’t sit,
On account of increasing rust.
Hey nonny nonny
 Heel and toe!
Barnacles began to grow.

In twelve-twenty-four
Came a herald to the door,
And I learned, with bated breath,
That my Noble Lord
Hadn't perished by the sword!
He'd been plucked from the jaws of death!
'I'll resume my life
With my lovely lady wife.'
Were the words he wrote to me.
Then he added a bit……
'I'm sorry to admit
That I've been and lost the key!'
 Hey nonny nonny
 Give and take!
That was quite a big mistake!

In twelve-twenty-five
Came the day he would arrive
Victorious from the war!
We went to our room
In the hope we could resume
Our relationship, as before.
I felt depressed,
But I should have guessed
That my lord was a resourceful man.
When we'd closed the door
In his upraised hand I saw
The key to a sardine can!
 Hey nonny nonny
What a lot of oats to sow!

By twelve-twenty-six
We were really in a fix,
For the key just wouldn't fit!
Though he gave a twist
And a jiggle of the wrist,
He couldn't get the hang of it.
By twelve-twenty-eight
We submitted to our fate
And stopped looking for ways and means.
And in twelve-twenty-nine
We both sat down to dine
On some very, very stale sardines.
Hey nonny nonny
Woe is me!
As I sing the Ballad of the Sardine Key!


anthonynorth said...

Oh, I loved this. Great! :-)

linda may said...

Very Funny, hey nonny nonny.

Sherri B. said...

LOL! This was funny and clever. Thanks for sharing!

Alisa Callos said...

This gave me a giggle! I bet it happened just that way! And you can bet your boppy that he didn't preserve his own chastity while on crusade the sexist pig :) The poor dear, whatever is she going to do with all the rust and barnacles?

Tumblewords: said...

What's with that. Those keys are soldered on the cans and somehow go missing. Too funny, nonny nonny - great rhythm...

danni said...

gritty little ditty --- poor old maid!!!

Kat said...

a very "innocent air" is indeed blowing all around..!!!!