Tuesday, February 17, 2009

306. How Are You?

I really have been tempted!


It wasn't exactly sincerely said but at least he gave a smile.
So I responded as I should, for I'm devoid of guile.
He said 'How are you?' (as they do) while pricing my tin of plums,
With artificial bonhomie as though we two were chums.
'I'm fine' I said, with half a smile turning as though to go.
And then I turned right back to him saying 'Why do you want to know?'
He looked non-plussed! (The check-out line was stretching to the door.)
I stood my ground with a menacing glare. 'What did you ask me for?'
'I… well….but….if' he stammered then, but I was on a roll.
Too many stupid questions finally took their toll.
'Look!' I said, 'If you want to know, my head-ache hurts like blazes!
I feel so bad I'm sure quite soon I'll be pushing up the daisies.
I've a touch of indigestion, brought on by your store's cheese,
And I know we're going to get some rain! I can feel it in my knees!
I've a bunion on my big toe and it's really giving me gyp!
But it's nothing compared with the spasms afflicting my left hip!
I'm allergic to potassium; so I'm developing hives,
And the agony of my toothache is as bad as a thousand knives.
I feel a little queasy; I may throw up right now.
And mentally I'm in the mood to have a really blazing row!'
With that final burst of venom I swept out, on my way
But a cheerful  voice behind me said
'Don't worry! Have a good day!'

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