Restriction!

                         Marmalade Rose

RESTRICTION!

We all know what it feels like, dear! That feeling of restriction;
Whenever a straining waistband tells a tale of food addiction!
All that food on Christmas day has just by-passed my lips
And moved on down my body taking up residence on my hips!
I see you trying bravely to push-through your shaggy torso;
That's how I feel when I get dressed except that ..... well.....it's more so!
You have three helpers standing by to help you on your way;
Maybe help is what I need at the dawning of each day!
Would any of you volunteer to drag and push and squeeze?
On one thing, though, I must insist!
Keep your eyes closed........PLEASE!
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THANK HEAVEN!

(To the melody of 'Thank Heaven for Little Girls.') 

Thank Heaven for little boys!

They grow up in a disappointing way.

Thank Heaven for little boys!

They turn out to be wrinkled old and grey.

Their eyes of baby blue were so disarming,

But now they're kind of pink instead and not so charming.

Thank Heaven for little boys!

Though their physique has gone to pot,

And though their blood's no longer hot,

Without them what would little girls do?
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Thank Heaven for little boys!

They have a bit of trouble with their knees!

Thank Heaven for little boys!

Their heavy breathing comes out as a wheeze!

Their hair was once so curly and seductive,

But when you stroke a balding bloke it's unproductive!

Thank heaven for little boys!

Though their passion, you will find,

Is often only in their mind,

Without them what would little girls do?
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Thank Heaven for little boys!

They haven't aged as well as vintage wine!

Thank Heaven for little boys!

Are these the boys that said we were divine?

Their teeth once flashed the way to mad adventures,

But now they lack a certain knack without their dentures!

Thank heaven for little boys!

As the years pass, it appears,

They grow long whiskers in their ears!

But without them what would little girls do?
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Thank heaven for little boys!

How fortunate that we've not changed a bit!

Thank heaven for little boys!

We're still so slender, beautiful and fit.

We have no need of hair-dye or of make-up:

We look so absolutely perfect when we wake up.

Thank heaven for little boys!

Yes, all of us agree

That we still love your company,

For, without you, what would little girls do?

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