Sunday, September 4, 2011

As it Says Above!


CARRY ON TUESDAY
chooses an idiom this week

AS IT SAYS ABOVE!

Home is where the heart is,
Likewise the liver and the  spleen.
You'll find the duodenum too,
If you know what I mean.
That's where you'll find the clippings
When you've pedicured your feet,
Unless you're a top-notch housewife,
Whose home is always neat.
Home is where the bills are,
And the dust under the bed.
Also the stain that Billy left
When his nose just bled and bled.
Home is where the laundry basket
Stands chock full of clothes
Crying out for treatment;
Some of it on the nose!
Yes, home is where the heart is
The bald patch, the hammer toe!
Isn't it a pity 
That there's nowhere else to go!
*

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PAINLESS!

The Dentist was astounded when a couple bounded in!
The husband said 'How soon to pull a tooth?'
The Dentist said 'Well, anesthetic takes a while to work;
I must allow for that and that's the truth!'
'Forget the anesthetic!' the husband brusquely said;
'Don't worry if you cause a lot of pain!
We're off on holiday today so please don't hang about!
Quick as you can! We dare not miss the train!'
But sir!' the Dentist remonstrated, 'Think about the roots!!
Extraction pain is really very great!'
'Just do it!' said the husband 'Don't be worried if it hurts!
I tell you, man, be quick! We can't be late!'
'Let me congratulate you' the startled Dentist said;
'You're the bravest chap I've met in all my life!'
'Brave? What's brave about it?' the husband chortled then.
'I'm not the one with toothache!
It's the wife!'
*


7 comments:

Kay L. Davies said...

I was expecting the husband to say that, in the dental poem. Men are so predictable.
But I love the "home poem"!! You have described my house very well, but I think the first four lines are hilarious, Brenda.
Thanks for the laugh.
— K

Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

charleslmashburn said...

Love these! Cute and funny stuff!

My entry: http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/09/02/the-grouchy-old-man-2/

The Cello Strings said...

profound.

Mary said...

This made me smile!

keiths ramblings said...

You never fail to put a smile on my face! I can't thank you enough for your continued support of Carry On Tuesday. Your contributions make it all wothwhile.

Mike Patrick said...

Rinkly, your humor never fails. You have no idea how much I envy you.

Ann LeFlore said...

Very funny made me smile
http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/08/22/my-poo-poo-is-sleeping/