Desirable Property

THURSDAY TALES
http://talesthursday.blogspot.com/2011/08/tale-74.html
supplied the illustration

DESIRABLE PROPERTY

I think I've actually sold it...the old barn on the hill!

See! My description did it! I'm closing in for the kill.

'Air-conditioned' I told her; 'Lovely country views';

'Extra land' I mentioned 'For the purchaser to use.'

'Historic' (that's a good word) 'For the connoisseur'

(Even on the telephone I could hear her purr!).

'Quite outstanding area! Smell that sweet fresh air!'

Then I thought I'd better add 'Needs a little care'.

She was new to the market, gullible and green;

'It sounds wonderful!' she said 'I'll buy it sight unseen!'

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NIGHT STARVATION!

I don't sleep well on an empty stomach! I know how Maxine feels!

Not that I wake at four a.m. to devour exotic meals!

But I DO like 'a little bit of something' before I go to bed,

Before on my downy pillow I lay my sleepy head!

Bedtime..... water for the pills, a 'wrinkly' routine.

(Every person over sixty knows exactly what I mean.)

Vitamins and blood-thinners, calcium for the bones,

And all the other tablets that every retiree owns!

So I swill them down with water! It's not exactly bliss!

A lady's night-time experience should be more exciting than this!

And it's then I hie me to the fridge to see what's hidden there!

Cold potatoes, half a pie, I really don't much care!

What's in that plastic container? A pork sausage! Bless my soul!

Oh what a wicked luxury! I almost swallow it whole!

By daylight I'm not greedy; I'm a lady to the core!

I'm not a bit like Oliver; I never ask for more.

I can push one pea around my plate for at least almost a minute

And I hesitate over my repast, always, before I begin it!

But comes the dark, comes secrecy, with my husband already snoring,

I gaze at my glass of water, which is suddenly so boring,

And dreams of bedtime feasting invade my addled brain,

And off I go, padding through the house, to raid the fridge again!

So I sympathise with Maxine, though our times are not in sync.

Our exploits at the dead of night are more exciting than you think!

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