Monday, August 29, 2011

Bootleg Hooch



MAGPIE TALES
supplied the illustration

BOOTLEG HOOCH

Al was desperate for a drink but the rain was pouring down;
The vendor of his bootleg hooch was on  the other side of town.
May, his current floozie, was starting in to whine
'If your lips don't touch liquor they surely wont touch mine!'
'But May' said Al, 'It's raining! I'll be soaked to the skin!'
But he could tell by the look on her face he wasn't going to win.
She said 'Take my red umbrella!' And Al, of course, demurred
Saying 'That will ruin my image! I'll simply look absurd!'
However, May had tempting lips, so he took the red umbrella,
Hoping that people in the street would see he was a fella.
So Al collected his bootleg hooch and stayed as dry as a bone.
(I hope you enjoyed this insight into the life of Al Capone!)
*

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PROOF POSITIVE!

Freddy saw a tasty blonde on his way home one night.
And humanity persuaded him to ascertain her plight!!
She was standing on the pavement watching traffic passing by,
And as he slowed down near her she looked him in the eye.
'Hop in!’ he said; and so she did without a why or wherefore,
And Freddy never thought to ask what she was standing there for!
Although he had a feeling that the evening would be great
He thought it wise to chat a bit and didn't hesitate.
'So what do you do for a living?' he asked her most politely,
He knew it must be something that she had to work at nightly.
'I work as a magician' said the blonde with a little smile.
So Freddy thought he'd take a chance; give her magic tricks a trial.
It was then she proved her ability; she could do magic well.
For, when she touched him on the knee, he turned into a motel!
*

9 comments:

The Cello Strings said...

adventurous magpie.
well done.

Old Raven said...

I so thoroughly enjoy your wonderful and imaginative sense of humor!

Kay L. Davies said...

I loved the idea of Al Capone with a big red umbrella. Too funny.
— K

Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

Cad said...

A double whammy of fun here today...

Lydia said...

You create one-in-a-million kinds of verses. This Magpie about Capone is 80 proof!

Kristen Haskell said...

Saucy! Nice

Berowne said...

Glad he had a reason for that red brolly. :-)

HyperCRYPTICal said...

Brilliant stuff! "For, when she touched him on the knee, he turned into a motel" had me giggling!

Anna :o]

chiccoreal said...

Love the levity! Both are masterpieces of humour! Thanks for the fun times!