Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Finders Keepers


BIFOCAL UNIVISION
supplied the illustration

FINDERS KEEPERS

I looked so smart when she bought me! White with a floral trim.
She said 'I'll take this bag tonight when I go out with him.'
'Him' was the name of her latest man......there's always quite a list,
And, to be perfectly honest, 'They'd none of them be missed'.
This one was after money...'Can you lend me a few quid?'
She was 'head over heels' of course, so she did what she often did!
She stashed me full of bank notes and we set off in his car,
And, true to form, a row started before we'd gone too far.
'You only want me for my money!'.....that's how it always starts;
He, of course, was a master of those old seduction arts;
'Darling! How can you say such a thing! You know I love you dearly!'
This night was going to be typical; I could see that clearly.
But then I got an awful shock! She suddenly changed her mind!
She threw me out of the window for a passer-by to find!
*
So now I lie here waiting and feeling rather tense,
Hoping that my new owner will have a bit more sense!
*

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This is the Ladies' Pool on Merewether Beach. Read its history below.
UNSULLIED!

Turn the clock back to an earlier age,
And try to visualise
A time when men swam in the nude!
Girls had to avert their eyes.
The gentlemen swam naked
In the rolling, boiling sea,
And the 'ladies' and their children
Romped with equanimity
In this special pool built for them
Away from all temptation.
The 'ladies' remained unsullied!
What a quaint situation!
*

3 comments:

5thsister said...

Loved your clever story!

Mama Zen said...

Finders Keepers made me giggle!

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

I loved both of these, and the first is hilarious!