Friday, August 5, 2011

Hellhole Hotel



Imagine the above illustration is a book-cover.
Would the following blurb make you want to read the book?

HELLHOLE HOTEL
by
Hortense Bing.
(Part three of the Trilogy: have you read 'Gruesome Garage?')

A  stolen weekend at the Hellhole Hotel ....... the stuff of nightmares!
A blocked gutter leads to horror.
What does Pedro uncover up on the roof?
Whose body has been hacked into minute pieces?
Can the lovers escape the crazed hotelier?
And what is the secret that involves Amelia?
If she confesses she will lose her only chance of love.
In this unusual crime novel the reader is a suspect!

The Police Gazette: 'Crime detection at its best.' I have become a more successful policeman since I read this book' says Constable Plinth.

*
---------------------------------------------------


FOOLED!

'I'll knit you a sweater, darling!' She said when the winds blew chill!
And when She threatens to do a thing you can bet your life she will!
I wanted to talk her language! I wanted to say, with tact,
'Don't make me look too stupid! Keep my dignity intact!'
You see, She's knitted some awful things, (from patterns on her Blog!)
And I'm a really masculine and roistering sort of dog.
Well, my name is Butch, for one thing; I'm the terror of our street!
All the lady dogs run after me and think I'm very sweet!
There are plenty of pups in the area that have a look of me!
So my image is most important! But not, it seems, to She!
Last year my jacket was lilac, with pink dots round the tail!
I yearn for something that tells the girls I'm very much a male!
Here it comes! She's knitted it! She says She thinks it's cool!
I simply cannot face you!
I feel such a Raspberry Fool!
*

10 comments:

FishHawk said...

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http://asthecrackerheadcrumbles.blogspot.com/2011/08/sites-to-see.html

HOOTIN' ANNI said...

Pedro? Pedro!!! We both used the same character's name. I can't believe it.


Happy Friday to you.

RAIN SCENTS

Oregon Gifts of Comfort and Joy said...

You are so funny! I was laughing out loud on the BB, and then, poor Butch, ha! Your story is great; you sure did use your imagination on how the gutter got plugged up.

Have a great weekend,

Kathy M.

June Freaking Cleaver said...

The questions made me think of a radio serial - I'll tune in next time!

Great job!

Tammy said...

Oh, how I love "Fooled!" Though if so many neighboring pups look like him, apparently that wardrobe isn't hurting his rep quite as much as he thinks?

And those gutter-blocking body parts are just irresistible, as is making the reader a suspect. I would love to read this unusual crime novel!

Kay L. Davies said...

Oh, Brenda, only you could call the reader a suspect and have the reader believe you. Delightful!
And poor Butch feeling like a Raspberry Fool. What a comedown for the hottest dog on the street.
— K

Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

Dominic de Mattos said...

This sounds like a thriller and a half! Not sure I want to be a suspect though! lol

Loved "Constable Plinth"

Susan Fobes said...

Your title is a shocker, and an immediate attention grabber. I am also amazed at how much information you fit in! I almost went horror as well...

Lynette Killam said...

Hah...Hellhole Hotel is a great title, and I would definitely read a book bursting with body parts and romance! Who could resist that combination!

And I feel for the little dog...I flat-out refused to put a dorky red bow on my Yorkie's head...LOL!

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

Your blurb promises a fine read. I'm an avid watcher of "Criminal Minds" and "CSI," so how could I resist the lure of body parts?! And romance, too. :)

Poor Butch! My daughter has two miniature dachshunds, and she does put sweaters on them in the wintertime, but she is as mindful of their masculinity as she can be, all things considered. Mini-doxies will never be mistaken for, say, a pit bull. LOL