DORMOUSE IN WONDERLAND published this photograph and I requested it to 'versify'. I am quite sure the young lady in the shot has a smooth-running love-life, unlike the heroine of my poem, but I couldn't help myself!
'Always a bridesmaid, never a bride'.
Those words echoed round in my head.
And they're not too funny when they're applied
To someone who longs to be wed!
Each weekend that came it seemed someone got hitched,
But that someone was never myself.
I'd either ditch someone or else I got ditched;
Anyway, I was left on the shelf.
My clock started ticking both loudly and clearly
(I speak of the clock biological)
There was 'maybe' and 'pass' and 'no thankyou' and 'nearly',
And other words very illogical.
My best friend, Fiona, well she was the last;
She got married in March on a Sunday,
And, yes, once again I felt really out-classed
Though she said 'It will be your turn one day.'
Of course, I was bridesmaid , so I was quite chuffed,
And I was all decked-out and girlie.
My lips were well-glossed, and my nails had been buffed,
And my hair was all tinted and curly.
I looked such a picture, out-shining the bride!
I knew that I'd be a success!
I knew that, when I took my place by her side,
By comparison she'd look a mess.
The day dawned depressing and sheeting with rain;
It was cold, it was grey, it was foul!
I'd horrible thoughts going round in my brain
And I greeted the day with a scowl!
I put on my finery, corsage and all,
And I have to admit I looked nice,
I covered my head with a nice lacey shawl.
But my feet were like two blocks of ice!
'I'll wear ugg-boots and socks till I get to the church'
Were the words going round in my mind.
But Fate was about to leave me in the lurch,
(Fate is often unpleasant I find.)
I got out of the taxi, forgetting my feet,
And who should I happen to see
But Gavin McArthur, who's handsome and sweet
But who's never said one word to me!
I came over all funny, but put on a show,
Knowing well that I looked pretty cool;
I hoped that he'd greet me with just a 'Hallo'
For I'd loved him since we were at school!
The puddles were deep and the rain was intense
So I picked up my skirts and I ran!
I'd forgotten the ugg-boots that made so much sense,
In my eager pursuit of a man.
The minister droned on, the vows were all made,
The service was nearly complete,
The organ was playing a sweet serenade
When I happened to glance at my feet!
Well, at the Reception I felt so downcast!
My ugg-boots had ruined my style.
I knew that my moment of glamour had passed!
Gavin wore quite a humorous smile!
Well, would you believe it! The very next day
He called me at home for a date!
And, of course I said 'Yes'! What else could I say?
I didn't believe I could wait!
Now he tells me (I finally made him confess)
That the item that made me look sweet
Wasn't curled hair or finger-nails, or pretty dress
But the ugg-boots I had on my feet.
We now plan to marry (yes, Fate has been kind!)
And I'll dress in the old-fashioned way,
But whatever the weather I've made up my mind
To wear ugg-boots on my wedding day!