Sunday, October 23, 2011

Grey Sunset


IMAGINARY GARDEN
http://withrealtoads.blogspot.com
asks us to attempt a Puente


A Puente is constructed in three stanzas, the first and third are separate thoughts, conditions or elements, but share an equal number of lines (at the poet’s discretion) and the center "bridge" stanza. This middle stanza is but one line and is enclosed in tildes (~) to distinguish itself as both the last line of the first stanza and the first line of the last stanza.


GREY SUNSET
(A Puente)

And the golden day
Will pull down the blinds.
The great flame will descend into the sea.
The dazzle on the hills
Will turn to grey

~And the sun will set~

On the ailing world
And mankind will die.
Long before the great heat eats us up
The withering will come
And grey will prevail.
*

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



DILAPIDATED DUNNY!

We drove to the orange orchard;
Fruit as far as the eye could see;
Gorgeous golden globes of it
Hanging from every tree.
And there, looking truly rural,
Was a dunny, in disrepair!
It's been many a decade
Since anyone was sitting there!
The corrugated iron was rusty,
There wasn't any door,
Weeds were growing profusely
All over the wooden floor.
But I thought it had a certain charm,
An Australian nonchalance;
It could become an icon,
If it were given half a chance!
*

8 comments:

Kerry O'Connor said...

I love your take on the Puente form. The piece has a deeply melancholy atmosphere, particularly in the stanza after the bridge.

Kenia Cris said...

I agree with Kerry, it's melancholic, still adorably beautiful. <3

MARGARET GOSDEN 2 said...

Grey Sunset: I really like the depth of thought here, and the preceding definition of 'puente' that explains its
structure - would that other forms could be preceeded
with such a definition...

Carmi said...

I often wonder how different life would be if more things - and people - around us were given that extra half a chance.

You've made me think today :)

Peter Goulding said...

I like how you go from the specifics of a particular sunset to the vastness of the end of the world.

Kay L. Davies said...

Awesome, Brenda, and could be very true if mankind doesn't do something about it and do it fast.

"An Australian nonchalance" perfectly describes the doorless dunny! A charming poem about something some might consider less than charming!


Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie’s Guide to Adventurous Travel

Susie Clevenger said...

Such lovely words...rich in melancholy...such mastery of the poetic form

Lillian Susan Thomas said...

It's sort of a miniature "wasteland", lol but the colors are stunning.