The Yellow Necklace

Newspaper shot

MELLOW YELLOW MONDAY
http://mellowyellowmonday.blogspot.com/2011/05/mellow-yellow-monday-119.html

THE YELLOW NECKLACE

I've never been a commuter,

For which I thank my lucky stars!

I've never driven nose-to-tail

Behind a thousand cars.

So I can look at this photograph

And think to  myself 'How pretty!

The lights resemble a neckace

As they travel from the city!

All those shining yellow jewels,

Threaded on a chain!

So much more attractive

Than traveling by train!

And doesn't the snow enhance them!

They're really picturesque!

Worth the journey into town

And working  behind a desk!'

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But, if I were a commuter,

Those might not be my thoughts!

I'd have many other views

Of many different sorts!

'Shes going to be really acid

If I'm home late again!'

'Drat! I'd be doing better

If I'd chosen a different lane!'

God! This seat's uncomfortable!

My bum has gone to sleep!'

'If that chap in front slows down

 I'll give him a loud beep!'

'I'm feeling lots of aches and pains

In parts I dare not mention!'

'Oh my aching neck again!

They say it's caused by tension!'

'I've got pins and needles!

I need to get out and stamp!'

'It drizzled as I walked from work;

Now my jacket's really damp!'

'I'm ravenously hungry!

I'm longing for my tea!'

'Hours and hours and hours and hours

And I'm desperate for a pee!'

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I've never been a commuter,

For which I thank my lucky stars!

I think I'd rather catch a spaceship

And head off out to Mars!'

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LITTLE GREEN MEN!

For many many nights I've stood out there beneath the stars,

Willing the Little Green Men to come and visit me from Mars.

I've even said the words out loud ' I'm receptive!'! Well I am!

But all those extraterrestrial 'things' just couldn't give a damn!

'Come on, Angels!' I've whispered low, 'If you're there just give a sign!',

But nary a flutter of angel wings disturbs this life of mine.

Another phrase has been 'Come on! I'm here so come and get me!'

But of all the ghosts and ethereal things not one has ever met me!

'Meet me half-way' I crossly say 'I'm ready! Why aren't you?

I just don't think you're trying! You're just not breaking through!'

I long to be a channel, or funnel, or whatever;

Then I'd appear all spiritual, unusual and clever.

I long to get messages from the dead, so I could then transmit them

And then the recipients would gape and wonder what had hit them!

I feel just like a radio that no-one has turned on!

And, as I'm old, my chances will very soon be gone!

So I'll give up the idea of meeting Little Green Men, I think;

I'll simply have to just make-do with one that's vaguely pink!
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