MELLOW YELLOW MONDAY
He turns the key!
What will he see
Inside the Yellow Room?
What fiends from Hell
Will sound his knell,
Rising up in the gloom?
The floor-plan shows
Neat rooms in rows;
Has he chosen the right one?
Will he survive
And come out alive
When this adventure's done?
Tom's wife was due to give birth quite soon and the Doctor drew him aside.
'I've invented a machine' he said 'And I want it to be tried.
It would show unity with your wife if you felt the pains of birth,
And you would be praised and glorified just everywhere on earth.
My little machine will help you feel the pangs of birth quite clearly;
Of course, you have to realise it will hurt you quite severely!'
Tom thought a bit and felt quite chuffed that he was the chosen man;
Being world-famous had always been a part of his master plan.
And Judy would think him very brave, Yes, that was important too.
He'd pioneer this new machine! That's exactly what he'd do!
The time of the birth drew nearer, Tom sat in a room alone,
Wired up to the new machine. Judy began to groan.
Later she started screaming and shouting out for help.
Tom sat in the chair serenely; he didn't even yelp!
Judy's cries grew piercing, they filled the surrounding air;
Tom was almost dozing, laid back in the easy chair.
When the birth was over, and the drama was all done,
Tom went into Judy's room to meet his newborn son.
He kissed his wife and mentioned that she'd made a lot of fuss.
He said 'No doubt about it! Women aren't tough like us!'
In due course he set off for home to make himself some tea.....
He found the milkman on the doorstep, writhing in agony!