Friday, February 25, 2011

Suck It And See

Lemon, hanging on the tree,
You are much too sour for me.
Though your peel's a perfect yellow,
Your juice is very far from mellow.
Though your shape is pure delight,
We aren't rewarded when we bite
Into your flesh, and take a suck!
We find that we are out of luck!
See that shrivelled-up grimace
Spreading over the sucker's face!
Pursed-up lips and slitty eyes
Prove a suck was not too wise!
Added to food and splashed about
You're something we can't live without.
 Your flavour's zingy and full of pep;
It puts a spring in every step.
Squeezed, you add a dash of pleasure,
That makes a lemon seem a treasure.
Disregarding our cuisine......
Before we ventured on the scene.....
What did Nature have in mind
When you were so stupidly designed?
You were no good to man or beast!
I don't understand you in the least!


This bronzed and beautiful creature
With the very unlikely proportions,
Who looks to be ready for anything,
Involving unusual contortions,
Is displayed on the wall of our local club,
The Games Room, in actual fact;
A room which, on occasional mornings,
Is absolutely packed.
It's packed with Bingo players
All of a certain age,
Who come for a little diversion,
Bingo being the rage.
Imagine each grey head bending
Over the winning card,
And old ears listening for numbers,
When listening's rather hard.
Imagine the wistful glances
From a little wizened dame;
She looks at the yellow bikini,
Thinking 'I was just the same'.
Imagine too the old gaffer
Looking up with his one good eye
And returning to the Bingo
With a very audible sigh.
Of course, the same room in the evening
Is brim-full of lively youth,
Intent on a game of snooker
And jokes that are quite uncouth.
They can look up at the bikini
And hardly miss a beat,
Because she's in their here-and-now
And life is remarkably sweet.
But I think it would be kinder,
When the Pensioners use the hall,
To turn Miss Yellow Bikini
Discretely to the wall!

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