Loud Limerick

MAD KANE

http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2011/03/23/aging-humor-2/

supplied the first line

LOUD LIMERICK

An old lady with spring her walk,

Had a voice which was more like a squawk!

When she shouted 'Good-morning!'

It was like some fog-horning,

And the people cried 'Don't let her talk!'*

*

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THE BLUE BOW-TIE

The First Tuesday in November? Does that ring a bell?

If you are an Australian you'll know it very well.

It's the day the Melbourne Cup is run, the day the country pauses,

Forgetting Wars and Climate Change and other important causes.

At three o'clock in the afternoon the country hesitates,

Glues itself to the 'telly', draws in a breath and waits.

And then 'They're off!' is shouted and the horses start the race,

Pounding down the track they go at a quite enormous pace.

It's over in a moment. has your horse been a winner?

(Yes everybody's wallet's bound to be a trifle thinner.)

For every punter 'has' a horse. I choose mine by the name;

I haven't a clue about the 'form'; to me they're all the same!

So I may have lost a dollar, or I may have gained a bit,

But usually it's the bookies with the greatest benefit.

So this year as usual there will be the  get-together;

Where we all dress up in silly hats and brave all sorts of weather.

The gentlemen wear bow-ties, or even smart cravats

And some brave souls have even dared to turn up in their spats!

Here is my friend, Noel, as he was at the 'do' last year;

He must have won some money! He's grinning from ear to ear!

*